i need to sleep

it's 1.19am, and i just can't sleep.

lots of things happened in just a small frame of time.

received compliments from the SMs+Lene is back to Ireland, practicing her medical there+Lan has been selected to go for a training course overseas+she had a break-up+she just putus tunang+conversations with stalker+she hesitates, which proves everything+watched Kung Fu Panda+knew that there are others who spends their lunch time all alone, for no apparent reason+confronted Ms VP, and shared ways of improvement+we finally in good terms, again+i love my job

i just realised why ever since i started working with the Company, i don't talk much.
it has got to do with my line of work. HR.

there are loads of things that i would love to share with others. things that i think would erase the need for rumours and allegations.

unfortunately, i cannot. and i will not.

that's why i don't talk much nowadays. i'm afraid that i might ter-cakap things that is yet to be shared with the masses.

i don't talk nonsense much nowadays, because i believe that is just a waste of time.

i don't talk too much with people, because i find it uncomfortable to share some personal stuffs with someone who i just knew.

and i realised, all this while, i was having the wrong career impression.

i thought that just because i could talk, i would do best in marketing side.

unfortunately, that is incorrect.

i realised that i could talk to people, and i have high empathy to people. i guess i'm a good listener.

HR is where i am good in.

and i usually laugh in between conversation, not because i don't know what to say, it's just my way of acknowledging our conversation.

and she asked me the other day:

"ur laugh tu kan, is it dibuat-buat, or you memang suka ketawa?"
"why?"
"takdelah. u gelak macam bunyi ayam bekokok"

lepas tu aku gelak je.

(it's 1.33am, and i'm signing off)