on the other note

there are also positive developments in past week.

gaji dah naik.

and friday is such a day full of emotional experience. 

met this cute and lovely candidate who was submitting her medical check-up result and other forms. she literally made my day :) hahaha.. i am professional during that moment. now, to wait until she officially join the company lah kot! hehehe

and watched High School Musical 3 with her last Friday nite. was so stressed out, thought of playing bowling. but unfortunately she was wearing baju kurung that day. so, tak dapat la main bowling. layan HSM3: Senior Year, but perhaps we both were a bit tired, so cam tak dpt nak enjoy the movie fully. felt lucky that she decided to layan my perangai. ke terpaksa? hahaha

and now, i am counting the seconds for my Bandung get-away.

facked up week

this entry is full of F-word. read at your own pace.

week 19-25 October is a week full of shit and fucked up events.

and also full of wonderful surprises.

and a really nice one.

:)

lets see, the highlights of the fucked up events.

hurmm...

i misplaced an employment package for this candidate, and after a week of thinking its already in the GM's office, pending approval, it's actually in my tray (of course, underneath piles of other documents).

so, the SM of the receiving party called me, and upon learning the truth, said she just don't know what to say. of course, she's bloody mad. then she told me is this how we are going to potray ourself to the external candidates, when we promised them that the letter would be available for collection in 2 weeks time?

well, i know i'm guilty, and realising that, there's nothing to do but to acknowledge that i'm all guilty as charged. and will do my best to speed up the application process.

and on that day, secretly admiring the SM for not doing the typical Management-Thing: send emails to your superiors telling them how disappointed they are.

and i secretly thanking her (that SM is a lady), for not doing that.

imagine my horror, upon checking my email early in the next morning, and that E-Mail is there.

fuck.

so, rather than preparing the offer letter with feeling of grateful, up till this moment, i am full with hatred for this lady. please, let her be my future boss, so i could disappoint her further. by all means, should fate decided that i am to work for her, let it be. i'll be ready for that day.

remember when you think you're bringing me down, bitch? guess you did not manage to do it so.

well, to keep the story short, this tuesday i am gonna meet up with my bosses, to be penalised for what is happening. hey, i admit it's a stupid mistake. and i will not make any excuses.

except,

the SM asked me, is this how we are to potray the Company? slow process and everything?

but upon receiving phone call from the candidate herself, she told me that the SM told her that the HR is so slow (and things like that) blah blah blah.. talk about cohesiveness. talk about we are one. talk about potraying good image.

how is it our fault when you yourself bad-mouthed the organisation? 

and you said that it is entirely our fault?

have anyone informed you, that only MY department could officially communicate with candidates on any employment offer? or you think you could be seen as "be proactive" in dealing with your soon-to-be-recruited candidate?

fuck you.

rather than trying to perform damage-control i.e giving good reasons to candidate, you decided to tell them "HR is slow yadda yadda yadda". now, tell me:

who promised them that the letter would be ready in 2 weeks time?

who gave them the not-so-good impression on the Company?

who thought that they have the Authority in contacting the candidate directly?

again, fuck you.

i lost my respect to you, when you click on that "send" button to my GM, my SM, and my manager, and oh, to your GM as well.

fuck you.

come to think of it, you are from department that does planning strategically. but the thing is, earlier this year, there is no indication of vacancies in your department. and now you are telling me that you need lots of people? is this part of your strategic plan?

fuck you as i am better off serving units that clearly indicates how many vacancies that need to be filled up.

again, this shit is happening mainly because it is my mistake. i admit it. i made a blunder.

but since ko raised other issues yg totally unrelated (how i actively participate in interview sessions, blah blah blah, yadda yadda yadda), i'd love to bring up unrelated issues as well.

the difference is, you wrote that fucking email to GMs and SMs (and i'll be getting some from my SM this Tuesday); and i wrote this fucking entry, for those who care to read.

and for the love of God,

i shall move on.

p/s: there goes my Mid Year Review. looks like i'm 4.

one of the reason why i would fly back to Sabah

she asked me, one fine day.

"if i passed away, would you fly all the way to KK?"

"babe, u wanted to be buried at KK is it?"

"yeah. so, will u?"

"i will be there for your funeral"

"yeay, u promised"

"but i can't promise you that i'll shed tears for you"

"it's ok. being there itself is good enough"

jgn baca. ni entry jiwang hahahaha

"Inside the heart of each and every one of us there is a longing to be understood by someone who really cares. When a person is understood, he or she can put up with almost anything in the world."Rev Ed Hird

thing is, each of us reach that state in different ways.

some,

had to undergo series of broken relationships

had it understood by both via love-at-first-sight

understood the partner well, only to be misunderstood by the partner

never get it, thus elevating the relationship to best-friends level

could never be understood just because of their complex personality

- - - - - - - - -

nothing bruised the ego, more than hearing these words from someone that you had a crush with, "you and i, we are such good friends".

5 reasons why i prefer to watch movie alone

1. can decide there and then what movie to watch, what time it should be, etc etc
2. easy to buy ticket, especially when the movie is about to start
3. no need to wait for others, especially yang suka fashionably late
4. only queue for myself, either at the ticket line or the snacks bar
5. if tak jadi nak tengok, i only dissappoint myself. and others wont dissappoint me.

i just had an anwar tonight. thus the reason for writing this entry.

imagine my surprise when the friend told me,"dude, i'm still stuck in traffic jam somewhere in KL".and it was like about 30 minutes before the show starts? you could just inform that "due to unfortunate circumstances, looks like i cannot make it". i get that frequently. so, no big deal.

and finally, 1 good reason why should never watch a movie alone:-

1. once the credit rolls, you realised that you're the only one in the theatre who is alone. others come by packs or just the two of them. enough to make you depressed.

WEML

4 hari selepas Raya

Hari Raya Aidilfitri.

Long weekend.

perghhh..

i've gained weight balik. all those hardwork during Ramadhan!!!

ni belum campur Open House, dan tak lupa juga konvoi raya.

cartoon snippet

why i like working with consultants. they make you feel better and a lot smarter.

azamilizzat berfikir dalam warna hitam dan putih - bahagian 2

(image courtesy of tantan. you may visit her blog over here)

edited: pesanan penaja oleh intan suria

"jgn lupe krdt kt my cuz tau.. filzah athirah name die.. n oso me la kn.. haha :P"

Salam Aidil-Fitri.

Apa yang terjadi ketika majlis rumah terbuka Hari Raya Aidilfitri Menteri Kabinet pada hari raya pertama, perlu dilihat dan dianalisis dari beberapa perspektif. Tidak dinafikan, akan berlaku pertimbangan berat sebelah, ataupun "bias", tetapi dasar inilah yang mematangkan kita semua. Mengapa? Pertembungan antara pendapat yang berat sebelah akan mewujudkan perbincangan atau perdebatan, yang pastinya akan melahirkan hujah-hujah yang konkrit dan padu, seterusnya membantu kita membuat keputusan bermaklumat (informed decision).

Tindakan mereka yang hadir pada majlis tersebut, lengkap berpakaian yang terang-terang menyatakan pendirian mereka terhadap lanskap sosio-politik negara, menunjukkan betapa rakyat Malaysia kini lebih terbuka dalam mengekspresikan pendapat mereka. Satu kemajuan, di mana kini rata-rata rakyat sudah berfikiran terbuka (tidak semestinya matang. itu masih lagi diragui) dan kurang bertaklid pada satu pendapat sahaja. Memakai kemeja-t dengan slogan "bebaskan RPK", "Hapus ISA" dan sebagainya, pada pendapat azamilizzat adalah tidak jauh berbeza dengan remaja yang gemar memakai kemeja-t dengan slogan yang menarik perhatian (adakalanya mengganggu konsentrasi azamilizzat), seperti "i'm with stupid", "what are you looking at", "grunge is not dead" dan sebagainya. (azamilizzat turut mempunyai kemeja-t yang berwarna biru muda dan mempunyai tulisan berwarna merah jambu "do i look like i care?"). Pendapat azamilizzat, asalkan apa yang tertera di kemeja-t mereka tidak menyentuh isu-isu sensitif, mahupun terang-terangan mengutuk individu, maka biarkan sahaja mereka berpakaian begitu. Biarlah kita memberi peluang perniagaan kepada peniaga dan pemilik kilang pakaian tempatan. Hasilnya, ekonomi tempatan akan meningkat dan seterusnya mewujudkan peluang pekerjaan kepada warga tempatan. Tetapi azamilizzat sedikit ragu, kerana kemungkinan besar pakaian-pakaian tersebut ditempah dari negara jiran, kerana kos yang lebih murah.

Dan aksi kanak-kanak 5 tahun menyampaikan kad kepada Pak Lah? "priceless" (izinkan azamilizzat menggunakan bahasa Inggeris). Tahniah diucapkan kepada HINDRAF dan sesiapa sahaja yang terlibat, kerana itu adalah satu perbuatan yang sememangnya bermotifkan untuk mendapat publisiti, dan menagih simpati masyarakat tempatan dan luar negara. azamilizzat berasa kasihan terhadap kanak-kanak tersebut, kerana dipergunakan oleh pihak yang mempunyai kepentingan tersendiri. Tindakan tersebut mungkin diadaptasikan dari filem-filem Hollywood, Bollywood dan mungkin juga dari industri filem tempatan.

Pelakon Tambahan 1: aku dengar budak 5 tahun yang bagi kad tu kat Pak Lah?

HINDRAF 1: betullah tu. kesian budak tu. dan Pak Lah amat kejam kerana tidak menyampaikan hajat budak tu.

Pelakon Tambahan 1: kenapa pulak?

HINDRAF 1: kesian laa dekat budak tu. 5 tahun pulak tu. bapa kena tahan ISA. lepas tu bila merayu dekat Pak lah, dia tak layan. itu baru budak 5 tahun. yang comel dan kesian dia. camne kita plak? kita yang seharusnya dibantu, dan sepatutnya Pak Lah dengar kata kita. ini tidak! sedangkan budak 5 tahun pun dia tak kesian, ko ingat dia kesian ke dengan kita semua? tidak!!

Pelakon Tambahan 1: hurmm.. betul gak tuh. dasar tak berhati perut!

entahlah. dimaklumkan bahawa azamilizzat lebih gemar melihat sesuatu dari kedudukan atas pagar. lebih luas pemandangan, katanya.

i'm thinking in black and white - part 1

I've learned new idiom, no thanks to my friends.

doing an anwar, v. = to promise something big is to happen on specific date, then postpone the event to another date on the day of the event is supposed to happen.
e.g the girl i'm suppose to go out with tonight did an anwar to me just now. she postponed it to next week due to personal matters.

While he was the Finance Minister, he used Good Bahasa Melayu in tabling the Budget i.e sementelahan itu, mapan, etc etc. go google yourself on what he said. Now he immortalised himself in idiom. Good Job!


So, all this hoolla-balloo about ISA, and why it should be abolished. And to hear those request came from USA, well, it's like listening to Pete Russell jokes via YouTube! Such a good music to these ears. Hurmm.. X-Ray camp, pre-emptive strike, "international co-operation", CIA, and CSI.

• X-Ray Camp = or affectionately known as the G-Camp. Who says you need an arrest warrant to book a room over here? Kamunting Camp is even better than the G-Camp. At least detainees still confided within Malaysia's soil. G-Camp? looking from the bright side, it's Cuba for goodness sake! well, not that you'll get to enjoy the cigars anyway...
• Pre-Emptive Strike and International Co-Operation = you strike first based on "concrete" intels. hurmm... sounds like ISA tho. Only in bigger scale. Globally.
• CIA = please refer to Black Ops. altho i must say, those TV shows inspired me to be a CIA agent. woooo
• CSI = another TV show that makes me regret for not being too nerdy back in schooling days. else, i would be joining the CSI team with Grissom as my boss. he's wicked!

am not saying that ISA must not be abolished. all i'm saying is, it must be used with full responsibility. i'm supporting Zaid's statement that ISA should be use for the greater good only. in this context, for us to fight terrorists. traitors. saboteurs.

not politicians. they tend to sensationalise everything. even the decent ones.

bloggers? hurmmm..

for someone who have agents or sources everywhere, that person is eligible for ISA. why? because since that person has access to literally everything, it is a threat to national security. who knows, that person might be on CIA or KGB or Mossad or even worse, Singapore/Indonesia spooks' payroll?

i see that as a very dangerous situation for us, Malaysian.

so, RPK has been detained. don't worry, all the hardships he went through will make him stronger.
remember Anwar? he emerged stronger and more determined to become Malaysia's Prime Minister. He basically created a new online show: "Malaysia's Next Prime Minister".

oh ya, and the fact that he has an idiom named after him.

F5

obviously, it's spongebob no more. time to get serious. time for something new.
so, press F5 to refresh the page.

i love this new template. it's easy to edit, and it has loads of additional customised things to add.

credit to the creator. please refer to the bottom of the screen.


seems like i'm a person who likes changes. either for good or bad. i re-arranged my bedroom's furnitures once every two/three months. i love to use different routes when driving to and fro office. i love the flexibility of either driving or just using the LRT.

as long as it won't bother others.

but if it is very dear to me, or there is personal attachment to me, then others' opinion is second to mine.

most people resist changes. status quo and comfort zone is what they crave for. why should change and everything just fine?

i say,
let have changes, and then we'll see if it works just fine!

how about u?

WeiRDo

ladies and gentlemen,

let me introduce to you, the latest addition to the family - WeiRDo. WRD 6459

and as one of the dugaan in this blessed month of Ramadhan, WeiRDo was involved in some kind of freak accident.

picture this:
it was about to rain..sangat lebat punya.
and the wind was blowing super laju.
somehow,
the asbestos from the roof top berterbangan ditiup angin.
and crash landed on WeiRDo. and my father's car as well.
both cars suffered heavy injuries at the rear windscreen.

5 pictures are viewable here:
http://www.new.facebook.com/album.php?aid=52689&l=00cd4&id=671762442

sori?

edited on 19th Sept: this entry was posted as a mean to vent the frustration. neither parties is to be blamed. and some ayat2 ditukar untuk men-sensasi-kan entry ini :)

edited on 21st Sept: all is well now. 

asked her to join our buka puasa session.

initially she said no.

then ajak2 lagi, she said "tengok la dulu. esok confirm"

dengan semangatnya, "takpe2, take ur time. arini x nak, esok musti nak"

then she said, "suka ati je ckp camtu. x nk pun"

told her, she's like pre-emptively tak nak join we all.

then she said, she wanted to buy time, as she didn't want to be seen as terus je tak nak.

so i told her, can't you just be direct? dah penat OK.

*gaduh kejap*

then she said sori.

hurmm...

last month - sori

last 3 weeks - sori sori sori

semalam - sori

sori la weh. ur sori for me now is just mere excuses je. macam dh murah sgt d sori words.

as much as i'd like to be seorang yg pemaaf, ada gak limit dia kak oi.

sori la, if me pointing your kegemaran of saying sori is sori-ly out of taste.

but i believe, mintak sori sentiasa is macam "nak sori naik lori laaa".

last2, terus discontinue the chat session.

tp sbb aku baik, x sedap ati la plak.

sms her, and apologise for the response. seriously i got carried away. as for her salah laku, tunggu masa je for her to say sori.

thanks for reading this sori entry.

just nak express this sori soul to the rest of the sori world.

please oh please don't overuse the sori word.

sori to say, it's kinda irritating.

especially when u don't mean it. when u use it as a way to cool other sori soul's heart.

oh btw, if korang takde kerja nak buat, cuba kira

ada berapa sori dalam entry ini?

sori~~~

Nice Guys Finish Last.

Received this from Ms Stalker, as she is now the official unofficial adviser :)
please share with me your opinion on this entry.

edited on 18th Sept: she forwarded this "entry" to me. perhaps she got it somewhere from the Net :) keep the inputs coming!

Azamil. Read this.

This is a famous phrase: Nice guys finish last.

It’s true.

Well, most of the time anyway. Actually, more often than not, 12 out of 15, it happens to every sorry dudes out there in the whole wide world.

I actually try to avoid this topic because it is painfully uncomfortable, like being friends with someone who pronounces the word mature as ‘mare-chert’. You don’t quite know how to react. Also, the other reason would be that everyone is prone to experience the whole Nice Guys Finish Last thing, and that means I am included in it as well.

Which explains the hesitation.

When a nice guy likes you, his interest and awe are transparent. And transparency when it comes to something sacred like feelings, it leads to weakness for his side and power for the other. At this stage, you know you can do whatever you want and he will still think you’re worth it.

Why do girls do that? We’ve had so much of complaining over heartless jerks who cheated on us but when a nice guy comes into our life we treat him like puppet on strings. It is puzzling, but I believe the concept still lies in the tricky and infamous human nature, ‘You always want what you can’t have.’

You see, a nice guy lets his feelings for you be displayed 24/7. As much as we appreciate the effort, when something is being handed to us that easy, where’s the challenge? We’ve all been there before, one of the best things in courting is the rush you get when he FINALLY calls or when he FINALLY replies your texts. Everybody likes to play a little mind game when it comes to these things. Being easy is not a choice, expecially if you need to know if that person’s worth it.

With a nice guy, there’s no walls to be put down, no mysteries of the mind to be solved, no balls bouncing in our(or his) court. It is like playing connect the dots where the end result is simply a straight line. It is not exciting, it is just… there, at your service, like an obedient dog, waiting to be pet and stroked. honestly, it can be irritating.

Despite all that, girls seem to need to have Nice Guys around, which explains the whole Nice Guys Finish Last scenario. They’ll always be with the girl of their dreams, but never needed enough, never wanted fully. They’re just there to give the girls a sense of security, that they’re still wanted eventhough the guys they like don’t seem to be.

I’ve had a couple of guy friends who are caught in the Nice Guy web. I can only give them my condolences. Truthfully, the moment you let a girl knows that you are a possible Nice Guy, you’re dead. You’d ALWAYS and forever be in the lower end of the see-saw. Because you know why? Girls know the exact game to play with Nice Guys. Just like Dumped Girls, they’re easy to read like a book.

It’s easy. The trick is to give them just enough attention to feed them a glimmer of hope that they might have a chance to get you. Maybe you go out on a date with them, say a couple of nice words that are so full of promises. That’ll get them happy, and even more hooked, them poor bastards. At the same time, you have to let them know, whether conciously or subconciously that you’re not interested in a relationship, or the best thing yet, that you are not aware that they have a crush on you.

Any of these sounds familliar? You bet. Because this happens all the time.

The sucky thing when you’re already stuck being a Nice Guy, is that it is hard to rectifiy the situation. Say, you might just realized that damn it, all these while, she’s just been toying around with you, using you to be her driver or to accompany her somewhere when she has no one to go with. Well, then you vow to ‘play hard to get’. You restrain yourself from immediately answering her calls or replying her text. You tell her you’re busy to let her know that you are not easily toyed around with, all these, in hoping that she will come to her senses and realize she is missing out on a huge thing.

She does, really, be rest assured, only that the feelings only comes when she has lost you. The moment you come back in her life, it’s back again to square one. She is again secured by the fact that you can never resist her, always have to come back to her, always will. She’d only have to regularly be in touch with you, call you as to not dampen you interest, that is all.

My advice to all these Nice Guy out there is: Get Out. Honestly. Try, try hard, because there’s really nothing you can do to change the course. Because whatever you do, you’ll always be the guy who is easily accessible, someone she can get WHENEVER she wants. Unless she really has come to her senses (which happens only about one in forty hundred) you shouldn’t hope.

Another advice would be, if you’re interested in a girl, NEVER let her know that you are hopelessly falling for her, because it sort of diminish your chances EVER. I’ll say it from my point of view, the moment I get the vibe that this guy has the kind of crush that he’s probably willing to do stuff for me, the rush deflates. At worst, I’d probably be flinging him off(I’ve come a long way to play around with Nice Guys, the aftermath is always messy and emotionally taxing), at best, I’d probably feel sorry for him and feels guilty all the time, which is not what I want out of this package!

So I’m saying, you don’t have to be an asshole and cheat off on her or anything. Let her know you think she’s sweet, but have a LIMIT. Let her think (and believe it in as well) that you don’t like to be wasting your time, if she’s not interested, you will move on (which is a sound advice to everyone of us, I might say).

A little mystery helps to make great relationships. Okay, that’s lame. But you get my point.

floor is open for discussion. care to share with us your opinion or experiences?

glory glory man utd

she asked me the other day,

"which club do you support?"

"of course Man Utd!"

"then i hv something for you"

she sent me pictures of Old Trafford, the Megastore, and Stretford End (ke camtu eja dia?)

but this picture truly symbolise the word "dilemma"

the girl or the emblem? :)

then i asked her

"so, how about u. which club do you support then?"

she sent me a picture of

...

....

...

Highbury. Shoot. She's a Gunner fan. boring.

matta,chrome, bold and touch pro

well, bonus is just around the corner.

so, here is my wish list of things that i'd love to have. 

1. finalised itinerary for my Borneo-Escapism project. Will go to MTC and MATTA Fair to get more info on things to do in Borneo, as well as mean of transportation and lodging-wise.
   
   
2. new gadgets. help me here. HTC Touch Pro OR Blackberry Bold OR new laptop?

OR

and yeah, i'm using Google Chrome. the newest product from Google. i must say, i'm impressed with the browser so far. so minimalistic.

and today, Ms Stalker and i exchanged notes with each other. She taught me her "1-1-2" formula, and i basically gave her lift to-and-fro home and office only for today.

"to be honest, you are just too nice"

ouch!

updated: found out that there would be lots of hassle in configuring the corporate emails on Blackberry. must use the official way, which basically has to get approval from management yadda yadda yadda. so, due to the complexity of having access to email via BBerry, i have to cancel it from the list.

Touch Pro on the other hand, won't be much different from my current Dopod 838 Pro. deleted from the list, it is to be.

which brings me to my original choice.

SAMSUNG OMNIA.

no title

i'm waiting for the sms or phone call.

updated 2/9/2008:
and i got an email. it's clear now. between us, there's nothing but this wall. and she had scrubbed the wall, and painted new picture. a picture that says thousand words. and those words jumbled up to say, "i'm sorry. it can't be".

surprisingly, it seems to be like i've been half-expecting it to be. for since the last day we were at the wall, there is no certainty on what will happen. so i've decided that the wall is to be left all alone, till a black bird hovers on top of it, carrying the bad news together with its droppings.

its the omen.

as much as i hoped that she might be the one, the omen shows that she is not. and i better be off, leaving the wall there, wishing the girl who lived at the other side of it, to live a happy life ever after.

and me? i'll just continue this journey with my trusted PDA phone, and this weary and teary blog.

the alchemist

i found myself re-reading The Alchemist.

this time, thanks to Ms Stalker. one of our common interest is reading. so we shared among us, books that we read, favourite authors and favourite books as well. and coincidentally, we both agree that The Alchemist is a good book.

(the fact that most people i knew who loved reading also has The Alchemist as one of their favourite books, will not be highlighted here, for the purpose of sensationalising this entry)

She likes the prologue.

"i weep for Narcissus, but i never noticed that Narcissus was beautiful. i weep because, each time he knelt beside my banks, i could see, in the depths of his eyes, my own beauty reflected."

i love the part when Santiago wanted to be turned into wind.

"Because when we love, we always strive to become better than we are"

i am now re-evaluating on what is my Personal Legend? will i finally realise the omens that passed right before my very eyes?

And when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.

maktub

the mirror getting foggy

as she was leading the meeting with endless flow of idea and energy, a big brick landed on my head.
i was seeing someone whom i used to be, a year ago.
and look at me now. getting all serious, maintaining a matured image; while she gracefully presenting her idea and thoughts without any hesitation.

am i getting too serious nowadays? i don't talk that much nowadays. my default facial expression is serious (Ms Stalker once pointed out to me,"ur face macam nak makan orang je"). and i tend to think things too deeply, weighing other people's opinion on "how" i should react and how they would react to it.

i put too much emphasise on pleasing others kot?

it was a good 20 minutes meeting.
able to see someone whom i think was kinda like me, that is priceless.

if only...

helpless

someone i care is going through her most difficult moment of her life, as we speak.
her father was involved in road accident, and currently is in deep coma.

and there's nothing much i could do, apart from standing at the road side, praying that everything would be better for her family. hoping that her father would awaken from the coma, and recover from the injuries.

i wanted to help her so much, yet i have no idea of what should i do.

helpless, that's how i feel right now.

pray with me, would you?

updated on 1st Sept: her father passed away last week. may his soul rests among those blessed by the Almighty.

Saturday, 9th August 2008

it was a beautiful Saturday.

first half of the day = trip to Teluk Intan for a wedding
intermission at 5pm = car wash
second half of the day = surprise birthday party

First Half of The Day:-
Four of us; Saf, AJ, Nara and I; were on a mission to Teluk Intan. To terrorize Teluk Intan, and to have delicious free lunch of Nasi Minyak. and yeah, to attend Salwa's walimah. The journey was planned to start by 9.30am, but due to communicated-delay, we departed from KLCC by 10am. not bad tho'. (nara lambat! tulaa, aritu poyo kata ko paling cepat.. balas dendam nampak?)

we came across three accidents, all involving big lorry. satu kat highway, satu kat Bidor, and another one kat Teluk Intan.

there are several words that best described the journey to and fro Teluk Intan and KLCC. "awesome", "best", and also "I know what happened at Salwa's wedding". hehehehehee

car-pooling and having a road trip with people who think in the same wavelength is fun, and really de-stress you out. those 2 hours of journey langsung tidak terasa. we were discussing about PDB, Shell, PETRONAS, as well those memories during PIPE (read: Mega Challenge)

and yeah, on way back home, we made a detour to Tanjung Malim to fulfill my crave for Pau Tanjung Malim. awesome!

Intermission
to kill some time while waiting for 8pm (more on this in the 2nd part), went for a car wash. WeiRDo was like sooo dirty and dusty, even i would mistakenly assumed it's not Waja, but a 4WD.

lo and behold, some of the kotoran were like so degil, even dah spray dengan air jet bertekanan tinggi pun still tak tanggal, had to resort to Polishing the car.

and it cost me RM100.
but then again, WeiRDo is now all shining and look brand spanking new!

2nd Half of the Day:
ilya organised a surprise birthday party for Mmq. it was fun lepaking with those people, and yeah, the craziness continued that night as well, as Apid and Fira dengan gembiranya melayan perangai gila-gilaku ini. am soo in good mood, that my jokes flowed well tonight. hahahaha. Fira as usual layan je lawak bodoh aku, and Apid with her "Celeron" processor added the fun.

to those with camera: ilya, sunshine, Ms Stalker and others, silalah tag gamba/video saya di Facebook k!

melantak Satay, cikedis dan gallons of soft drinks.
pastu balik rumah makan pizza.
*sigh* there goes my diet plan. hehehe

confuse?

i'm confused, and in dire need of someone to help me out of this shit ASAP.

i don't know, but after watching Pursuit of Happyness, i'm having this idea of not to socialise too much with office-mates. i don't know why. perhaps after what happened in the office made me realised, i'm better off with only having professional working relationship with them? i donno. i'm afraid that should we became close, it might cloud our eh silap, my judgment towards them. i'm the type that will do anything for a friend. and yes, you might see me as someone who doesn't care much with what other people say, but i'm easily affected with how people see me. and i guess it's affecting my emotional stability as well rationale thinking.

i love having different sets of friends. it's like going to different masquerade parties. in that party i might be wearing this mask, and at another party i'll be wearing different mask. nevertheless, i always maintain some standardisation throughout the parties. i'll be as open as possible. and i'll be as friendly as possible.

and now, i'm wearing this "i'm an anti-social wannabe" mask. as much as i want to integrate with the society, there's just too many things running in my head and in my plate, that i just can't cope with additional things here and there.

the next time you see me walking all alone, sitting there all by myself, or don't speak much when we're out together. please oh please. engage me. start a conversation with me. for i love being an attentive listener, as that is what i do best.

i need someone who will brighten up my day, ASAP. all this work thingy is making me depressed. aaaaaa. as was pointed out by Ms Stalker, "muka you nampak penat je. bnyk sgt ke keja u?"


*sigh* another depressed entry. Spongebob is NOT helping ke?

of jazz, flags, letters and happyness

my weekend was filled with arts and emotional movies.

went to Sunshine Jazz Fest (yes! after years of "i am soo going") on Friday nite with Lan and Ili. the show was good. i mean, the 1st performer was good. they played good jazz music. i was so memserized, that i even dreamt of sitting on a comfy sofa, puffing a Grade A cuban cigar, in a dimly lit club, while listening to music performed by that group. can't remember the group's name anyway.

then, the 2nd band came onstage. it was not that good, and we collectively agreed that derang syok sendiri. thus, time to go back home lah. and was suppose to be there with another friend of mine, but she bailed out last minute.

well, there goes my 1st Sunshine Jazz Fest. 50-50 mixed reaction.

throughout the weekend, spent the nights watching Flag of Our Fathers, and Letters from Iwo Jima. damn good. go and watch it.

Then, layan Pursuit of Happyness.

Layan beb.
really inspired me. and motivated me.

The Wall

last night was a night full of surprises;
i retreat back to the wall,
and was surprised to see the writings that i wrote on it,
that section was still intact.

i made stride to it,
and there was a girl standing beside it, holding roses.
we exchanged greetings, and on that spot we shared a cup of tea.
while threading carefully on what were scribbled on that wall.

she talked and talked, while gleefully sipping the hot tea;
and there i was, listening attentively to every words being said.
regardless of hearing the same thing over and over again.
truly, i was mesmerized with her presence.
and i was comfortable over there.

then she asked,
wouldn't it be nice if we could have someone whom we can have good conversation with?
and why were you so quiet tonight?
so i told her, i have loads to say to her,
it's just that i'm afraid i might say stupid things,
and i was comfortable listening to her stories.

then, when the owl hoots, and the clock strikes midnite;
it was time to go home.

then i told her,
this wall has a special place in my heart.
i never know what's beyond it,
since it collapsed after i scribbled those words.
words meant for whoever lives at the other side.
somehow or rather, this wall is one precious thing to me,
and i will always hold it dear.
for i do not know,
and i tend to speculate and assume,
how the owner of the wall would feel and react,
to those words.
words that flowed from my heart.

she didn't say anything,
so we bid goodbye.
and each took their own path.

few steps away,
i stopped over,
and turned my head back to the wall,
hoping to catch a glimpse of that girl and where she's heading.

there she was.

walking on the other side of the wall.

TDK and H2:TGA in one freaking night

The Dark Knight

half an hour after the movie, i still has the post-TDK goosebumps. and today, am going to watch it two times. both at imax. gila tak?
well, this movie deserves better than Transformers. why? months after watched Transformers, and with help from Obefiend, i realised that Transformers is actually takdela bagus sangat. the plot bnyk gila loop-holes. it's just that the boy inside me that never grew up was so mesmerized with the movie la kot. the CG and everything. hahaha

TDK, on the other hand, is something different. like totally.
go watch it, even if you despised Heath Ledger after watching him in Brokeback Mountain.

superb casting by Batman, Joker, and Harvey Dent. only thing, Rachel is kinda weak. well, who cares? who needs hot babe when you have caped crusader, bat-pod, tumbler, and crazy villains? hahahahaa.. might sound a bit too gay there :P

Hellboy II: The Golden Army

Penned by Mike Mignolia himself and Guielermo Del Toro (ih, whatever his name laaa!), this movie combined two geniuses. master director and master storyteller. really felt like watching real-live comic book, all with the humours and serious stuff thrown in the course of 2 hours.

suspend you belief, throw away all the logical thinking. that's the rule in reading comic books. and the same rule applied here.

Liz Sherman is hot! (literally and figuratively!)
somehow or rather, my favourite character from this movie is Liz Sherman. hahahahaa. well, coz i'm a man, and she's damn hot. next would be Dr Krauss. such antics! hahahaha



to conclude this entry, here's an excerpt right after my favourite scene in TDK.

we're 95 this year

the company is at 95th spot in 2008 Fortune 500.

syukur Alhamdulillah :)

spongebob

i'm using a new template, experimenting with SpongeBob skin.
don't know why, just that i thought i might interject some fun elements in my depressing entries. hehhee

we are stupid. period

was on MC yesterday, as i woke up with "sakit pinggang". went to a clinic, and the doctor gave me some painkillers and "ubat sapu". touche! asked him, "there's nothing serious right?". and he responded with, "well, you're still walking!" case closed then.

anyway, was introduced by a friend to this groupie in facebook, "TAK NAK PETRONAS". i must admit, those people actually wanted to vent their anger to the government. however, being foolish, they mistakenly assumed that PETRONAS is the government. fools.

one thing led to another, stumbled upon Saiful's fiancee blog. (this is the Saiful who lodged police report that he was sodomized by Anwar).

the best part is, the comments by the readers. check this out.

see, how stupid we are actually? i laughed at our own stupidities.

what book are you reading?

it's always the same cycle.

boy meets girl. boy befriends girl. boy become girl's good friend. girl shares stories with boy. boy falls for girl. girl falls for other boy. both of them just friends.


been wanting to ask her, on how actually she came up with the conclusion that although i'm a happy and cheerful person, i'm actually "pemarah". was surprised when she posed me that statement. and the thing is i had to agree with her. well, only those selected few had the opportunity of seeing me lost my temper.

she told me that it is true that a happy and cheerful person has that "temper" within him/her.

oh, so it was a general theory. she was trying to prove that theory by confirming it with me. and i thought that she has this technique of reading people's behaviour.

but then again, quoting from my best buddy-soon-to-fly-to-vienna, i am an open book. it is easy to read me.

am i?

LOL

of all transfer rumours i read from BBC, this is the most hilarious!

MCKK should be in league of its own

u see, basically i'm the type who doesn't give a shit when people who clearly is politically-illiterate talked about their point of view in terms of what is happening now, with all the political statement and allegations.
u guys can write and share your view with the rest of the world, and i couldn't care less, regardless of whether those "facts" are indeed true or just stupid unfounded baseless rumours.

but when you talk shit about my alma-mater? that's another thing.

MCKK should be in league of its own <-- click here

read the comments below.
two words for those people.
You can kiss my beautiful arses and go straight to hell and fark urself.

oh, tu lebih dari two words.

ni yang buat aku tetibe nak nyanyi lagu motherrussia. oh, which by the way, Russia will be in the SEMI FINAL!!! woohoooo

saturday n sunday

in order to move on, i had to forget everything about her.

thus, regardless of how stunningly beautiful she was today, i had to ignore her. pretended as if she isn't there.

and i think i'm doing a stupid mistake by writing down about it here. this is sooo not going to help me in anyway.

OK, time to move on.

oh btw, Selamat Pengantin Baru to Kimi and Sha!

kimi is a bloke i knew back in 2003/2004, and we became good friends. we even initiated the SVU, together with Pe'et, Cipoi and Anas.

sha was introduce to me by myself, when i took the initiative to get to know her during our 1st year. we were in a mountain climbing expedition, and it all began during the 1st night of camping.

here's to a blessed and wonderful years ahead, lads!

wtf?

he should informed me earlier.

and now, all i could be is watching from the afar, like an ignorant bystanders, while he struggled all this while.

shit man, this year's like a cursed year for us Kelab Am peeps. well, in love life la kan. putus tunang, end of 5++ years old of relationship, rejection all the way, and luckily one of us maintained steady.. well, he's maintaining his single-dom. which upon translation, still no luck.

to my brothers, i can only wish you all the best. and i am truly sorry for not being able to be there for you guys. seriously guys.

sorry, from the deepest of my heart.

another screw up.

i just had to let her know. since it's hard to meet her face to face nowadays, i had to resort to the useless means of communication.
sms.

and the consequences,

i screwed it up again, big time.
and she replied with kind words, telling me dat d time will come, dat's for sure.
this time, i threw away my optimist hat, and don the pessimist mask.
and from it, i deciphered those words as "NO".

nevertheless, i'm quite relieved for i finally managed to let it out.
and now, i'm ready to move on.

the brick wall has been smashed. and there is nothing there for me.

at least, now i can breathe easily.

my personalDNA

i am teruja!

she asked me,
"what do you think of traveling rough and low budget?"
"still classifies. i don't want to jinx it"

clues given by her: train, beautiful architectures.

suddenly petang tadi, sense of excitement came rushing into me.

i am soo teruja!

please oh please.. lets make it happen!

police line - do not cross

since we arrived quite early yesterday, it was around 7pm, while the P Ramlee the Musical starts at 8.30pm, Alia requested for us to go someplace for early dinner. so we went to Kg Baru, and pusing2 to find this Kedai Bot at Jalan Daud.

had a good conversation about it's high time to move on, someone who i just knew, company bonus, shitty politician, and PPA. (hurmm... two of my bestfriends are getting good ratings. i wonder, i pulak bila ek?)

now that i have decided to move on, should a time comes when i might be given the chance to cross over the police line, will i have the courage to say "No, i don't want to. Enough is enough"? or would i succumb to "sekejappppp je"?

entahla.

beautiful weekend

saturday, 14th June

had a fanta-licious time playing paintball at Bukit Cerakah! am looking forward for next outing. should be around august la kot. please??

the 2nd season of P Ramlee the Musical is awesome! Musly Ramlee IS P Ramlee!
so, people asked, which one is better?
i must say, the 1st season's strength is at its storyline and plots. and not forgetting the "we are very happy... we're feeling so lucky~~~".
the 2nd season? my goodness. the acting, the singing. it's like watching P Ramlee himself on the stage, acting a character based on him.

sunday, 15th June

supposedly got 2 plans:
out with a friend OR go to office.

unfortunately, neither happpened. ended up, spent most of my free time catching up on the precious sleep.

thot of going out to watch a movie or something, tapi tak jadi. *sigh*

i need to sleep

it's 1.19am, and i just can't sleep.

lots of things happened in just a small frame of time.

received compliments from the SMs+Lene is back to Ireland, practicing her medical there+Lan has been selected to go for a training course overseas+she had a break-up+she just putus tunang+conversations with stalker+she hesitates, which proves everything+watched Kung Fu Panda+knew that there are others who spends their lunch time all alone, for no apparent reason+confronted Ms VP, and shared ways of improvement+we finally in good terms, again+i love my job

i just realised why ever since i started working with the Company, i don't talk much.
it has got to do with my line of work. HR.

there are loads of things that i would love to share with others. things that i think would erase the need for rumours and allegations.

unfortunately, i cannot. and i will not.

that's why i don't talk much nowadays. i'm afraid that i might ter-cakap things that is yet to be shared with the masses.

i don't talk nonsense much nowadays, because i believe that is just a waste of time.

i don't talk too much with people, because i find it uncomfortable to share some personal stuffs with someone who i just knew.

and i realised, all this while, i was having the wrong career impression.

i thought that just because i could talk, i would do best in marketing side.

unfortunately, that is incorrect.

i realised that i could talk to people, and i have high empathy to people. i guess i'm a good listener.

HR is where i am good in.

and i usually laugh in between conversation, not because i don't know what to say, it's just my way of acknowledging our conversation.

and she asked me the other day:

"ur laugh tu kan, is it dibuat-buat, or you memang suka ketawa?"
"why?"
"takdelah. u gelak macam bunyi ayam bekokok"

lepas tu aku gelak je.

(it's 1.33am, and i'm signing off)

i have my own stalker :)

i was strolling around in KLCC one fine evening, when suddenly my phone rang.

"helo azamil. ni ******* nih. eh, u kat mana ek?"
"i kat klcc. tgh jalan2 jap"
"i nak tanya u something la. u drive kan everyday?"
"yeap. btw, u kat mana?" (background bunyi bising2)
"i kat isetan, tgh beli kasut.. eh i call u balik kejap lagi"

"eh, u tgh jln with ur fren ke? sori kacau"
"no lah. i sorang2 je nih"
"boleh tak we meet up kejap. i nak tau pasal drive to work nih. u kat mana?"
"err.. i kat tower records. alaa..dekat ngan kfc and cold storage" (walhal actually on the way to toilet)
"ok. i'll meet you there k. bye"
"orais. bye"

(masuk toilet, answered the nature's call, was on the way out to shopping complex)

"u kat mana?"
"aaa.. u kat mana?"
"i kat depan tower records la ni"
"ok, stay there. satgi i sampai" (walhal this time dah nak nmpk dia)

(sampai depan tower records, dia plak kat dalam. browsing through the CDs)

"wassup?"
"ey sorry sgt2. i rasa macam stalker plak. keep calling you"

at that point of time, siyes rasa cam nak gelak je. *insert laugh track here*

so basically, here i am, officially announcing to the rest of the world.

i have a stalker! hehehe :)

hopefully she don't know the existence of this blog. if not, sure i die one! hahahhaa

and spent the whole petang sampai maghrib chit-chatting. and i guess we had good conversation. altho i guess most of the times i kinda bored her with my talking points. especially when asked me on why i have no girlfriend.

but that, is another story to be told at another time.

two emails today

One of my client (now i'm working at Group Talent Sourcing a.k.a Recruitment) sent me this email, with my Bosses (Manager and Senior Manager) and several other Managers in the mailing list:

Dear Azamil

Thank you very much for syndicating with us to gauge our requirement.
We truly appreciate the prompt and personal touch. All the candidates
are acceptable to us. Please advise whether they have been interviewed
and their earliest availability to join us (we will consider taking the one
who can join us at earliest).

Then, my manager responded this, while cc-ed it to my Senior Manager:

Good job. Please do not loose the momentum. As I said, view all needs for HRM Div as critical and see your clients personally. Now she has mentioned that, let her know immediately which of the candidates can come in ASAP.

life is good :)

why i am not pissed off with the price hike, and yet why i am mad with the price hike

why i'm not pissed off

• it is inevitable. current (which is now previous) subsidy structure could no longer support the high price of processed petrol, which has direct relation with the high price of crude oil price
• well, Malaysia's price is still relatively among the cheap ones in Asia region. (ok, by this time those friends in Malaysia will give snide remarks, while those working outside Malaysia will agree with me, yet will have that little smile at the corner of their mouth)

why i am mad

• days before the announcement, the message being delivered was totally unrelated. "The government is looking on restructuring the fuel subsidy, this is line with the high cost burdened by the government. These restructuring is targeted to be implemented in August. The Prime Minister will make an official announcement in this week". thus, i was expecting that the price hike is to be implemented sometime in August, and by that, rakyat would have ample time to re-adjust their living style. but nooooooo.....
  
• because the rakyat is hurling nasty remarks to Pak Lah. it is not his fault that the oil price in the global market is breaking price records every other day. but please put the blame on the Menteri Penerangan and Menteri Perdagangan Dalam Negeri dan Hal Ehwal Pengguna. they did not convey the correct message. all this while, the message that we received was as appended below:-

Kos bahan api ikut pasaran global selepas mekanisme baru skim subsidi diperkenal Ogos

KUALA LUMPUR: Harga petrol dan diesel di negara ini dijangka diapungkan mengikut harga pasaran global selepas mekanisme baru skim subsidi bahan api dilaksanakan kerajaan Ogos ini.

Pada masa ini, harga bahan api itu dikawal kerajaan dengan memberi subsidi yang besar, tetapi Menteri Perdagangan Dalam Negeri dan Hal Ehwal Pengguna, Datuk Shahrir Samad semalam berkata, kawalan harga minyak akan ditarik balik apabila mekanisme baru skim subsidi dilaksanakan dalam tempoh dua bulan lagi.

Menerusi cara itu, katanya, harga bahan api di Malaysia akan mencerminkan harga pasaran global.

"Ia bergantung kepada harga pasaran global," katanya kepada pemberita selepas merasmikan Sidang Kemuncak Pembinaan Malaysia 2008 di Pusat Dagangan Dunia Putra (PWTC) di sini.

Ketika ini, harga petrol di negara ini selepas subsidi hanya RM1.92 seliter dan diesel RM1.58, jauh lebih rendah berbanding RM5.20 (petrol) dan RM4.33 (diesel) di Singapura yang mengapungkan harga bahan api itu.

Bagaimanapun, Shahrir berkata, kerajaan sedang menimbang untuk melaksanakan dua mekanisme pemberian subsidi iaitu menerusi penetapan kuota dan pendapatan tunai bagi mengurangkan beban rakyat.

"Kerajaan tidak boleh hanya menaikkan harga petrol dan diesel tanpa memberi suatu bentuk subsidi kepada rakyat, terutama golongan yang berhak menerimanya.

"Oleh itu, kerajaan sedang menimbang pelaksanaan dua mekanisme pemberian subsidi, iaitu sama ada menerusi penetapan kuota melalui penggunaan MyKad atau pendapatan tunai," katanya tanpa menjelaskan secara terperinci mekanisme itu.

Kelmarin, Shahrir berkata, penstrukturan mekanisme baru skim subsidi bahan api itu sudah dikemukakan kepada Kementerian Kewangan dan akan diputuskan Jawatankuasa Kabinet Menangani Inflasi.

Jawatankuasa itu mengadakan mesyuaratnya semalam bagi memuktamadkan pelbagai cadangan untuk pertimbangan akhir Kabinet, hari ini.

Ditanya sama ada Perdana Menteri, Datuk Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi akan mengumumkan kenaikan harga petrol dan diesel serta mekanisme baru skim subsidi selepas mempengerusikan mesyuarat Kabinet hari ini, Shahrir berkata:

"Kita tidak boleh membuat keputusan lagi... esok (hari ini) perlu dilihat sebagai sebahagian daripada langkah penyusunan atau penstrukturan semula skim subsidi.

"Kita sedang meneliti langkah bagaimana untuk menaikkan harga petrol dan diesel di pam dan pada masa yang sama kita boleh membanteras penyeludupan, penyalahgunaan dan ketirisan subsidi.

"Kita perlu menunggu esok (hari ini). Pada asasnya adalah untuk meningkatkan harga petrol dan diesel di pam tetapi pada masa yang sama juga mahukan supaya subsidi sampai kepada rakyat," katanya.

Shahrir berkata, subsidi ke atas bahan komoditi itu dijangka meningkat daripada RM55 bilion kepada RM65 bilion tahun ini jika mengambil kira purata harga minyak mentah pada paras AS$136 setong.

Katanya, kerajaan juga kehilangan hasil pendapatan daripada peruntukan subsidi untuk bekalan minyak dan gas kepada Pengeluar Tenaga Bebas (IPP), sektor tenaga, sektor bukan tenaga dan sektor lain, khususnya di Semenanjung.

"Dengan jangkaan harga minyak di pasaran dunia terus meningkat, kerajaan perlu menyediakan tambahan peruntukan untuk subsidi bahan api berkenaan." katanya.

Kerajaan, Petronas tanggung subsidi bahan api RM36b

got this from Berita Harian. Statement from Hassan Marican.
if you need further clarification, do not hesitate to post it here.

KUALA LUMPUR: Kerajaan dan Petronas secara terkumpul masih memberi subsidi berjumlah kira-kira RM36 bilion bagi petrol, diesel serta gas tahun ini, di sebalik kenaikan harga bahan bakar berkenaan yang diumumkan, kelmarin.

Presiden dan Ketua Eksekutif Petronas, Tan Sri Mohd Hassan Marican, berkata berdasarkan penggunaan 11 bilion liter petrol serta 6.2 bilion liter diesel di negara ini tahun lalu, jumlah subsidi yang perlu ditanggung kerajaan bagi kedua-dua bahan bakar itu tahun ini ialah RM5.16 bilion.

Daripada jumlah itu, RM3.3 bilion adalah subsidi untuk petrol, manakala RM1.86 bilion lagi diesel.

Beliau juga menjelaskan, kerajaan masih memberi subsidi 30 sen seliter bagi petrol dan diesel di sebalik keputusan menaikkan harga kedua-dua bahan bakar itu, masing-masing sebanyak 78 sen dan RM1 seliter.

"Jika dicampurkan dengan bayaran tunai sebanyak RM625 setahun kepada pemilik kereta di bawah 2,000cc dan RM150 kepada pemilik motosikal di bawah 250cc, jumlah subsidi yang ditanggung kerajaan ialah sebanyak RM13.03 bilion," katanya pada taklimat media di sini, semalam.

Setakat akhir tahun lalu, jumlah kereta di bawah 2,000 cc yang berdaftar di negara ini berjumlah 10.7 juta, manakala motosikal di bawah 250 cc pula 7.9 juta.

Berdasarkan angka itu, jumlah pembayaran tunai kepada pemilik kereta di bawah 2,000cc ialah RM6.69 bilion, manakala pemilik motosikal di bawah 250cc pula sebanyak RM1.18 bilion.

Mohd Hassan berkata, Petronas juga masih memberi subsidi yang besar bagi gas yang dibekalkan kepada sektor elektrik dan industri, walaupun harganya dinaikkan antara 124 peratus dan 161 peratus.

Berdasarkan penggunaan tahun lalu, subsidi gas yang diberi Petronas kepada sektor elektrik dan industri tahun ini berjumlah RM23.4 bilion.

Beliau menjelaskan, harga baru RM14.31 mmBtu yang dibekalkan kepada sektor elektrik dan RM24.54 mmBtu kepada sektor industri adalah jauh lebih rendah daripada harga pasaran iaitu masing-masing RM44.42 mmBtu dan RM60.65 mmBtu.

Katanya, hanya kira-kira 30 peratus daripada gas yang dibekalkan itu adalah yang dikeluarkan sendiri oleh Petronas.

Pada taklimat itu, beliau turut menjelaskan antara 60 hingga 65 peratus daripada keuntungan yang diraih Petronas setiap tahun dikembalikan semula kepada kerajaan dalam bentuk cukai, dividen, royalti dan duti eksport, sementara bakinya digunakan untuk pelaburan semula.

Mohd Hassan berkata, tahun lalu syarikat minyak kebangsaan itu meraih keuntungan sebanyak RM86.8 bilion.

Daripada jumlah itu, RM52.3 bilion dikembalikan kepada kerajaan, RM7.8 bilion bagi bayaran kepentingan minoriti dan cukai asing, manakala baki RM26.7 bilion dilaburkan semula.

Beliau Hassan menegaskan, Petronas perlu membuat pelaburan semula bagi mengembangkan perniagaannya untuk memastikan ia boleh terus menyumbang kepada pendapatan kerajaan, walaupun selepas negara sudah kehabisan rizab minyak dan gasnya.

"Jika berdasarkan sumbangan Petronas kepada kerajaan tahun lalu sebanyak RM52.3 bilion, ia mewakili kira-kira 35.4 peratus daripada jumlah pendapatan Kerajaan Persekutuan tahun lalu.

"Bayangkan apa yang akan berlaku jika Petronas selama ini tidak melaburkan semula keuntungannya, tetapi menggunakan semuanya untuk subsidi," katanya.

Beliau berkata, sejak penubuhannya pada 1974, Petronas meraih keuntungan terkumpul RM570 bilion dan daripada jumlah itu RM335 bilion dikembalikan semula kepada kerajaan, manakala RM178.9 bilion dilaburkan semula.

Mohd Hassan berkata, Malaysia mungkin menjadi pengimport bersih minyak mentah menjelang 2011 jika kadar pertumbuhan penggunaan bahan api di negara ini yang kini sekitar enam peratus setahun berterusan.

Justeru, katanya, Malaysia perlu berjimat dan menggunakan bahan bakar dengan lebih cekap.

Mengenai tanggapan bahawa syarikat minyak termasuk Petronas kini meraih keuntungan besar berikutan harga minyak mentah dunia yang tinggi, Mohd Hassan berkata sebenarnya margin keuntungan dalam industri itu kini semakin kecil berikutan peningkatan tinggi kos pengeluaran dan cari gali.

"Walaupun harga minyak mentah meningkat kira-kira 100 peratus sejak tiga tahun lalu, kos dalam industri meningkat lebih tinggi sebanyak 200 peratus," katanya.

this is a selfish entry

i'm going to talk about something which is much bigger than the petrol price hike, or the increase of global food price.

i want to talk about me.

she told me she has to start saving money for her trip next month. so, she said let's go out next month. then i pointed out to her, she'll be off next month for a week or two, then when she came back, for sure she gonna need to save some money to make it through the month.

eventually, perhaps next next month la kot?

entahlah.

sometimes i found it quite amusing, thinking back on how i could tahan till this day.
well, people say, the harder it is, lagi berbaloi.
or is it?

i guess i'm gonna follow a friend's advise: wait till she asks you out. then jual mahal la.

then next question is: what if she never do that?

then have to move on la kot.

and after all these years, i am yet to raise the white flag. permanently.

entahla..

oh, before that. is there any other way for me to overcome this brick wall? i'm so attached to it that i found it's hard for me to turn my back of it. i need to go beyond this brick wall!

help!

phlegmatic vs sanguine

as much as i truly understand the well-accepted fact that life is not so fair, i always hold on to the belief that God is fair, and the only one who is perfect.

being a phlegmatic person, i don't actually mind if someone just came up to me and said, "hey, i know we are suppose to hang out together now, but came up, and afraid i can't make it". as long as the reason given is valid, then i guess i'll excuse that person.

but i always find myself in the opposite situation.

if i'm late to a meeting or something, others frowned.
if i had to make last minute cancellation, others say i am being irresponsible.
if i made a mistake or some awkward remarks, others remember till eternity.

add the guilty consciences, and i present to you: sleepless nights and feeling of insecurity. more like i am the guilty ones. and i had to apologise to all.


but i'm only human after all.


if i can accept, forgive and forget; why can't they?

now i understand why i am attracted to the serenity of being alone. just me and the nature.
no pre-conceived ideas, no pre-judgement, no high expectation from me. just me.

but then again, being a strong sanguine, it's my nature to be amongst people. have this feel to be accepted in the crowd.

clash of the personalities?

u decide.

neverending story of salary

most of my friends in the company, especially those working in the technical line, has this habit of complaining that the current salary is low, and not competitive with the market outside. they felt they deserve much more than what they earn right now. and conveniently forgetting that the fact that apart of basic salary, they are given extra allowance as well.

unlike us, working in non-technical areas.

did my best to educate them, to make them see from the bigger picture, outside their current scope; and although it seems that i am fighting a losing battle, glimmer of hopes came to me one fine day.

some of my friends managed to see things from my angle.
and that is good enough.

the Last Lecture

was reading through the Last Lecture, by Randy Pausch; when i stumbled upon this very words:

brick walls are there for a reason. they give us a chance to show how badly we want something.

gamba header

i'm still alive

i'm back.

too many things happened, things with big magnitude till events with small magnitude.
and i thought that i could braved myself, then when something really hard struck my head.
(well, basically someone who barely know me pointed this to me)

i'm the type that is so easy to get excited with things happening around me.

case 1:
out of the blue, she texted me, asking why the sudden silence. so i was overjoyed.
when i asked her out for drinks, and she had to give reasons why she cant a.k.a rejected the offer, i easily felt demoralised and yah, sad.
then when she suddenly asked me out for lunch, i was overjoyed back.
when she declined an invitation for a movie, with two different reasons given at different times, well, i guess having this ability to read between the lines, i was demoralised again. down gile.

case 2:
we were out for a whitewater rafting at Sg Kampar (my goodness, it was really good! the pictures can be viewed at my facebook). although i've been rafting before, 3 times to be exact, at the same river, i just couldn't stop feeling nervous. thanks to my poker-face practice, i managed to display a face full of confidence, while deep inside me, i was nervous!
when we start paddling, the excitement came in a rush. like a river that flows very fast when it go through the dam.
then, we did the body-rafting thingy (hell yeah, it was reallllyyy gooodddd.. especially the roller coaster part hehehe). i just had to body-raft a couple of times. the heart was pounding hard and fast. i can felt the adrenaline rush to the whole body.
and when the rafting ended where it was suppose to end, i felt.. well, calmness came and embraced me throughout the journey back to the base camp. no more adrenaline rush, no more the fast beating heart, no more feeling terrified or extremely nervous.


was about to write on something depressing, but i guess the best way for a good therapy session is to remember good and wonderful things, rather than re-imagining back all the not-so-good things.

pronce caspian is out today. and i planned to watch it tomorrow. there is a huge possibility of i'm going to watch it alone la kot. like i'm not used to it la kan? hehehe

oh ya, one of my best buddies went from the deep plunge into the dark abyss of lost love, and he's right now flying high among the stars. or should i re-word that to clouds of love? well, best of luck bro.

aku cuma nak tunggu ko buat je pengumuman tu depan kiterang. don't think you can hide the fact, when basically the whole world knows about it.
fact: the seller got sold. hahahaha..dulu konon nak jual aku, last2 ko yang terjual. ke tu sebenarnya taktik ko untuk menjual diri sendiri? hurrmmm...

final note: hopefully prince caspian is not that bad as the review(s) said.

longest middle finger salute

pupus

such an ironic.

the person you care most, is the one who doesn't care much about you.

well, family members excluded la kan. and best friends.

i'm getting tired playing this little game, "perhaps next time", day by day. perhaps it's time for me to get a new game?

pupus by Dewa is the song to listen to la kot?

2 girls and 2 boys

we were on the way to Bagan Lalang, for the much awaited "makan ikan bakar" session. while he was driving, we spend half of the journey singing songs played on the radio.
then, she posed this question:

"tell us, hari paling sedih in your life"

after we shared with each other, the saddest day in our life,

then she blurted a statement that caught me off my guard:

"you can change your personalities instantly"

suddenly,he posed a direct question to me:

"what do you look for from a woman?"
- someone who could assist me to understand me better
- sedap mata memandang
- someone whom i could have conversation with, anytime anywhere anything

then we asked her the same question:

"what do you look for from a man?"

when we reached home, something struck me hard on the head.

we are now emotionally attached to one another now.

the 300th post

she gave me a series of questions last night, and they were very thought provoking. and caused me to pause, and re-think back on my life's situation, and where i am now.

close your eyes, and answer this questions truthfully. there is no right or wrong answer. you don't have to think deeply to answer these questions. let the words come from your heart and mind, not from your deeply thought brain.

• imagine yourself in a forest. describe how the forest looks like. and what are you doing in the forest?

• think of a river. describe how the river looks like.

• imagine a key. how does it looks like? and what do you do with that key?

• a key. describe the key, and are you doing with it.

• there is a bear in front of you. describe the bear.

• now, visualise walls. describe on your visualisation.

• there is a teapot in front of you. describe the teapot, and what do you do with it?

• a house. what does it looks like?

• how will you describe a man(human)?

Waves of Changes

i was not in the country on that fateful day. was in Bukittinggi, Indonesia for a family trip.

i guess most people would already know that i am staunch UMNO supporters. yes,i am. and i believe that BN is what a good coalition party should be. under one banner, under one leadership, and under one united vision.

truth be told, when i heard that BN is losing its two-third majorities, it was a sad and depressing moment. and the fact that most newspapers in Indonesia highlighting the election and its results, whereby they clearly showed their inclination to the "opposition"; does not help much. well, add some uncles and father talking about why BN deserves these things, and how the "opposition" would ensure that things will be much better, i could only sit, listened and nodded to every points given.

it was like being awakened from a happy dream. abruptly, with pail of cold water disimbahkan kepadaku.

oh, another thing. Tun Dr Mahathir calls for Pak Lah to resign?
this is the man, that once upon time was hated by the "opposition", to the extent that he used to be their number one enemy.
and now, his call is echoed by the "opposition" leaders. huh?

dear Tun, as much i respect and thankful for all the efforts done to get us where we are now, my respect for you is eroding. please stop this nonsense. yes, Pak Lah should be held responsible for the losses, but to ask him to step down? did you step down when it was clearly shown that you were losing the Malay supports back in 1999?

anyway, BN lost its two-third majority. and yeah, several states were lost. this is going to be a wonderful 4-5 years.

to think of it, there is a popular saying that this shows malaysian voters are matured already. now is the time to see how matured our Representatives are.

blessing in disguises:-

1. all the claims that the election was already rigged before the E-Day proved to be a false claim and allegation
2. BN will have to re-brand it self
3. Legalisation of peaceful street demonstration?

anyway, since aku tak vote langsung aritu, although i am eligible to do so, maka selama 4 tahun ini aku akan menjadi pemerhati yang akan berat sebelah sikit di dalam senario politik negara kita. i didn't vote, so i guess my voice and opinion is useless :) maka, lebih baik menjadi pemerhati sahaja.

p/s: selagi tak salah guna duit petronas, selagi tu aku OK.
p-p/s: loyalty ku hanya pada DYMM Yang Di-Pertuan Agung dan DYMM Sultan Selangor

birthday teaser

in conjunction with my birthday, just want to share with you guys what an application in facebook did with my birthdate. it analysed it.

career path: computer science? hahahahaha... :)

change of heart

beloved friends,

as a true testimony to my natural behaviour that full of uncertainty, i hereby declare that the announcement made in the earlier entry is now officially invalid.

for i have decided to go for Waja CPS.

yeay!

SAGA - a new beginning

click on picture for review

just booked one, and will apply for Company Loan sometime this week, before CNY.
and then, if everything goes well, have to wait for about 4-5 months
(hopefully, with new direction heading by Proton, the car will be ready within 2-3 months)

oh yea, the colour scheme would be metallic silver a.k.a genetic silver

next in the list:

• persona (2nd generation or new facelift)
• savvy (2nd generation or new facelift)
• waja (3rd generation or new facelift)

time is an essence

fellow HYPErs komiti members are to convene tomorrow, for a short meeting plus heart-to-heart session.

hopefully everything went well. it has been about 6 months kot since the appointment, and the team is yet to do something wild and beyond imagination. well, to be honest, with the appointment, somehow the bosses realised that we do have the potentials, thus the extra work and job being passed to us.

i mean, there was the time when i had time to "melawat kawasan" aound 5.15pm, after office hour. now, i barely have time for me to even pusing2 my own level.*

*calculation of time available time for melawat kawasan is as this formula =>

8 hours - (normal time spent on completing assignment + time for spamming + time to surf the internet + time for useless and gibberish chatting + time spent for making phone calls + low productivity time)

but i am firm believer on this quote,

"i got time~"