Nice Guys Finish Last.

Received this from Ms Stalker, as she is now the official unofficial adviser :)
please share with me your opinion on this entry.

edited on 18th Sept: she forwarded this "entry" to me. perhaps she got it somewhere from the Net :) keep the inputs coming!

Azamil. Read this.

This is a famous phrase: Nice guys finish last.

It’s true.

Well, most of the time anyway. Actually, more often than not, 12 out of 15, it happens to every sorry dudes out there in the whole wide world.

I actually try to avoid this topic because it is painfully uncomfortable, like being friends with someone who pronounces the word mature as ‘mare-chert’. You don’t quite know how to react. Also, the other reason would be that everyone is prone to experience the whole Nice Guys Finish Last thing, and that means I am included in it as well.

Which explains the hesitation.

When a nice guy likes you, his interest and awe are transparent. And transparency when it comes to something sacred like feelings, it leads to weakness for his side and power for the other. At this stage, you know you can do whatever you want and he will still think you’re worth it.

Why do girls do that? We’ve had so much of complaining over heartless jerks who cheated on us but when a nice guy comes into our life we treat him like puppet on strings. It is puzzling, but I believe the concept still lies in the tricky and infamous human nature, ‘You always want what you can’t have.’

You see, a nice guy lets his feelings for you be displayed 24/7. As much as we appreciate the effort, when something is being handed to us that easy, where’s the challenge? We’ve all been there before, one of the best things in courting is the rush you get when he FINALLY calls or when he FINALLY replies your texts. Everybody likes to play a little mind game when it comes to these things. Being easy is not a choice, expecially if you need to know if that person’s worth it.

With a nice guy, there’s no walls to be put down, no mysteries of the mind to be solved, no balls bouncing in our(or his) court. It is like playing connect the dots where the end result is simply a straight line. It is not exciting, it is just… there, at your service, like an obedient dog, waiting to be pet and stroked. honestly, it can be irritating.

Despite all that, girls seem to need to have Nice Guys around, which explains the whole Nice Guys Finish Last scenario. They’ll always be with the girl of their dreams, but never needed enough, never wanted fully. They’re just there to give the girls a sense of security, that they’re still wanted eventhough the guys they like don’t seem to be.

I’ve had a couple of guy friends who are caught in the Nice Guy web. I can only give them my condolences. Truthfully, the moment you let a girl knows that you are a possible Nice Guy, you’re dead. You’d ALWAYS and forever be in the lower end of the see-saw. Because you know why? Girls know the exact game to play with Nice Guys. Just like Dumped Girls, they’re easy to read like a book.

It’s easy. The trick is to give them just enough attention to feed them a glimmer of hope that they might have a chance to get you. Maybe you go out on a date with them, say a couple of nice words that are so full of promises. That’ll get them happy, and even more hooked, them poor bastards. At the same time, you have to let them know, whether conciously or subconciously that you’re not interested in a relationship, or the best thing yet, that you are not aware that they have a crush on you.

Any of these sounds familliar? You bet. Because this happens all the time.

The sucky thing when you’re already stuck being a Nice Guy, is that it is hard to rectifiy the situation. Say, you might just realized that damn it, all these while, she’s just been toying around with you, using you to be her driver or to accompany her somewhere when she has no one to go with. Well, then you vow to ‘play hard to get’. You restrain yourself from immediately answering her calls or replying her text. You tell her you’re busy to let her know that you are not easily toyed around with, all these, in hoping that she will come to her senses and realize she is missing out on a huge thing.

She does, really, be rest assured, only that the feelings only comes when she has lost you. The moment you come back in her life, it’s back again to square one. She is again secured by the fact that you can never resist her, always have to come back to her, always will. She’d only have to regularly be in touch with you, call you as to not dampen you interest, that is all.

My advice to all these Nice Guy out there is: Get Out. Honestly. Try, try hard, because there’s really nothing you can do to change the course. Because whatever you do, you’ll always be the guy who is easily accessible, someone she can get WHENEVER she wants. Unless she really has come to her senses (which happens only about one in forty hundred) you shouldn’t hope.

Another advice would be, if you’re interested in a girl, NEVER let her know that you are hopelessly falling for her, because it sort of diminish your chances EVER. I’ll say it from my point of view, the moment I get the vibe that this guy has the kind of crush that he’s probably willing to do stuff for me, the rush deflates. At worst, I’d probably be flinging him off(I’ve come a long way to play around with Nice Guys, the aftermath is always messy and emotionally taxing), at best, I’d probably feel sorry for him and feels guilty all the time, which is not what I want out of this package!

So I’m saying, you don’t have to be an asshole and cheat off on her or anything. Let her know you think she’s sweet, but have a LIMIT. Let her think (and believe it in as well) that you don’t like to be wasting your time, if she’s not interested, you will move on (which is a sound advice to everyone of us, I might say).

A little mystery helps to make great relationships. Okay, that’s lame. But you get my point.

floor is open for discussion. care to share with us your opinion or experiences?

glory glory man utd

she asked me the other day,

"which club do you support?"

"of course Man Utd!"

"then i hv something for you"

she sent me pictures of Old Trafford, the Megastore, and Stretford End (ke camtu eja dia?)

but this picture truly symbolise the word "dilemma"

the girl or the emblem? :)

then i asked her

"so, how about u. which club do you support then?"

she sent me a picture of

...

....

...

Highbury. Shoot. She's a Gunner fan. boring.

matta,chrome, bold and touch pro

well, bonus is just around the corner.

so, here is my wish list of things that i'd love to have. 

1. finalised itinerary for my Borneo-Escapism project. Will go to MTC and MATTA Fair to get more info on things to do in Borneo, as well as mean of transportation and lodging-wise.
   
   
2. new gadgets. help me here. HTC Touch Pro OR Blackberry Bold OR new laptop?

OR

and yeah, i'm using Google Chrome. the newest product from Google. i must say, i'm impressed with the browser so far. so minimalistic.

and today, Ms Stalker and i exchanged notes with each other. She taught me her "1-1-2" formula, and i basically gave her lift to-and-fro home and office only for today.

"to be honest, you are just too nice"

ouch!

updated: found out that there would be lots of hassle in configuring the corporate emails on Blackberry. must use the official way, which basically has to get approval from management yadda yadda yadda. so, due to the complexity of having access to email via BBerry, i have to cancel it from the list.

Touch Pro on the other hand, won't be much different from my current Dopod 838 Pro. deleted from the list, it is to be.

which brings me to my original choice.

SAMSUNG OMNIA.

no title

i'm waiting for the sms or phone call.

updated 2/9/2008:
and i got an email. it's clear now. between us, there's nothing but this wall. and she had scrubbed the wall, and painted new picture. a picture that says thousand words. and those words jumbled up to say, "i'm sorry. it can't be".

surprisingly, it seems to be like i've been half-expecting it to be. for since the last day we were at the wall, there is no certainty on what will happen. so i've decided that the wall is to be left all alone, till a black bird hovers on top of it, carrying the bad news together with its droppings.

its the omen.

as much as i hoped that she might be the one, the omen shows that she is not. and i better be off, leaving the wall there, wishing the girl who lived at the other side of it, to live a happy life ever after.

and me? i'll just continue this journey with my trusted PDA phone, and this weary and teary blog.

the alchemist

i found myself re-reading The Alchemist.

this time, thanks to Ms Stalker. one of our common interest is reading. so we shared among us, books that we read, favourite authors and favourite books as well. and coincidentally, we both agree that The Alchemist is a good book.

(the fact that most people i knew who loved reading also has The Alchemist as one of their favourite books, will not be highlighted here, for the purpose of sensationalising this entry)

She likes the prologue.

"i weep for Narcissus, but i never noticed that Narcissus was beautiful. i weep because, each time he knelt beside my banks, i could see, in the depths of his eyes, my own beauty reflected."

i love the part when Santiago wanted to be turned into wind.

"Because when we love, we always strive to become better than we are"

i am now re-evaluating on what is my Personal Legend? will i finally realise the omens that passed right before my very eyes?

And when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.

maktub

the mirror getting foggy

as she was leading the meeting with endless flow of idea and energy, a big brick landed on my head.
i was seeing someone whom i used to be, a year ago.
and look at me now. getting all serious, maintaining a matured image; while she gracefully presenting her idea and thoughts without any hesitation.

am i getting too serious nowadays? i don't talk that much nowadays. my default facial expression is serious (Ms Stalker once pointed out to me,"ur face macam nak makan orang je"). and i tend to think things too deeply, weighing other people's opinion on "how" i should react and how they would react to it.

i put too much emphasise on pleasing others kot?

it was a good 20 minutes meeting.
able to see someone whom i think was kinda like me, that is priceless.

if only...

helpless

someone i care is going through her most difficult moment of her life, as we speak.
her father was involved in road accident, and currently is in deep coma.

and there's nothing much i could do, apart from standing at the road side, praying that everything would be better for her family. hoping that her father would awaken from the coma, and recover from the injuries.

i wanted to help her so much, yet i have no idea of what should i do.

helpless, that's how i feel right now.

pray with me, would you?

updated on 1st Sept: her father passed away last week. may his soul rests among those blessed by the Almighty.

Saturday, 9th August 2008

it was a beautiful Saturday.

first half of the day = trip to Teluk Intan for a wedding
intermission at 5pm = car wash
second half of the day = surprise birthday party

First Half of The Day:-
Four of us; Saf, AJ, Nara and I; were on a mission to Teluk Intan. To terrorize Teluk Intan, and to have delicious free lunch of Nasi Minyak. and yeah, to attend Salwa's walimah. The journey was planned to start by 9.30am, but due to communicated-delay, we departed from KLCC by 10am. not bad tho'. (nara lambat! tulaa, aritu poyo kata ko paling cepat.. balas dendam nampak?)

we came across three accidents, all involving big lorry. satu kat highway, satu kat Bidor, and another one kat Teluk Intan.

there are several words that best described the journey to and fro Teluk Intan and KLCC. "awesome", "best", and also "I know what happened at Salwa's wedding". hehehehehee

car-pooling and having a road trip with people who think in the same wavelength is fun, and really de-stress you out. those 2 hours of journey langsung tidak terasa. we were discussing about PDB, Shell, PETRONAS, as well those memories during PIPE (read: Mega Challenge)

and yeah, on way back home, we made a detour to Tanjung Malim to fulfill my crave for Pau Tanjung Malim. awesome!

Intermission
to kill some time while waiting for 8pm (more on this in the 2nd part), went for a car wash. WeiRDo was like sooo dirty and dusty, even i would mistakenly assumed it's not Waja, but a 4WD.

lo and behold, some of the kotoran were like so degil, even dah spray dengan air jet bertekanan tinggi pun still tak tanggal, had to resort to Polishing the car.

and it cost me RM100.
but then again, WeiRDo is now all shining and look brand spanking new!

2nd Half of the Day:
ilya organised a surprise birthday party for Mmq. it was fun lepaking with those people, and yeah, the craziness continued that night as well, as Apid and Fira dengan gembiranya melayan perangai gila-gilaku ini. am soo in good mood, that my jokes flowed well tonight. hahahaha. Fira as usual layan je lawak bodoh aku, and Apid with her "Celeron" processor added the fun.

to those with camera: ilya, sunshine, Ms Stalker and others, silalah tag gamba/video saya di Facebook k!

melantak Satay, cikedis dan gallons of soft drinks.
pastu balik rumah makan pizza.
*sigh* there goes my diet plan. hehehe

confuse?

i'm confused, and in dire need of someone to help me out of this shit ASAP.

i don't know, but after watching Pursuit of Happyness, i'm having this idea of not to socialise too much with office-mates. i don't know why. perhaps after what happened in the office made me realised, i'm better off with only having professional working relationship with them? i donno. i'm afraid that should we became close, it might cloud our eh silap, my judgment towards them. i'm the type that will do anything for a friend. and yes, you might see me as someone who doesn't care much with what other people say, but i'm easily affected with how people see me. and i guess it's affecting my emotional stability as well rationale thinking.

i love having different sets of friends. it's like going to different masquerade parties. in that party i might be wearing this mask, and at another party i'll be wearing different mask. nevertheless, i always maintain some standardisation throughout the parties. i'll be as open as possible. and i'll be as friendly as possible.

and now, i'm wearing this "i'm an anti-social wannabe" mask. as much as i want to integrate with the society, there's just too many things running in my head and in my plate, that i just can't cope with additional things here and there.

the next time you see me walking all alone, sitting there all by myself, or don't speak much when we're out together. please oh please. engage me. start a conversation with me. for i love being an attentive listener, as that is what i do best.

i need someone who will brighten up my day, ASAP. all this work thingy is making me depressed. aaaaaa. as was pointed out by Ms Stalker, "muka you nampak penat je. bnyk sgt ke keja u?"


*sigh* another depressed entry. Spongebob is NOT helping ke?

of jazz, flags, letters and happyness

my weekend was filled with arts and emotional movies.

went to Sunshine Jazz Fest (yes! after years of "i am soo going") on Friday nite with Lan and Ili. the show was good. i mean, the 1st performer was good. they played good jazz music. i was so memserized, that i even dreamt of sitting on a comfy sofa, puffing a Grade A cuban cigar, in a dimly lit club, while listening to music performed by that group. can't remember the group's name anyway.

then, the 2nd band came onstage. it was not that good, and we collectively agreed that derang syok sendiri. thus, time to go back home lah. and was suppose to be there with another friend of mine, but she bailed out last minute.

well, there goes my 1st Sunshine Jazz Fest. 50-50 mixed reaction.

throughout the weekend, spent the nights watching Flag of Our Fathers, and Letters from Iwo Jima. damn good. go and watch it.

Then, layan Pursuit of Happyness.

Layan beb.
really inspired me. and motivated me.