the mirror getting foggy

as she was leading the meeting with endless flow of idea and energy, a big brick landed on my head.
i was seeing someone whom i used to be, a year ago.
and look at me now. getting all serious, maintaining a matured image; while she gracefully presenting her idea and thoughts without any hesitation.

am i getting too serious nowadays? i don't talk that much nowadays. my default facial expression is serious (Ms Stalker once pointed out to me,"ur face macam nak makan orang je"). and i tend to think things too deeply, weighing other people's opinion on "how" i should react and how they would react to it.

i put too much emphasise on pleasing others kot?

it was a good 20 minutes meeting.
able to see someone whom i think was kinda like me, that is priceless.

if only...

helpless

someone i care is going through her most difficult moment of her life, as we speak.
her father was involved in road accident, and currently is in deep coma.

and there's nothing much i could do, apart from standing at the road side, praying that everything would be better for her family. hoping that her father would awaken from the coma, and recover from the injuries.

i wanted to help her so much, yet i have no idea of what should i do.

helpless, that's how i feel right now.

pray with me, would you?

updated on 1st Sept: her father passed away last week. may his soul rests among those blessed by the Almighty.

Saturday, 9th August 2008

it was a beautiful Saturday.

first half of the day = trip to Teluk Intan for a wedding
intermission at 5pm = car wash
second half of the day = surprise birthday party

First Half of The Day:-
Four of us; Saf, AJ, Nara and I; were on a mission to Teluk Intan. To terrorize Teluk Intan, and to have delicious free lunch of Nasi Minyak. and yeah, to attend Salwa's walimah. The journey was planned to start by 9.30am, but due to communicated-delay, we departed from KLCC by 10am. not bad tho'. (nara lambat! tulaa, aritu poyo kata ko paling cepat.. balas dendam nampak?)

we came across three accidents, all involving big lorry. satu kat highway, satu kat Bidor, and another one kat Teluk Intan.

there are several words that best described the journey to and fro Teluk Intan and KLCC. "awesome", "best", and also "I know what happened at Salwa's wedding". hehehehehee

car-pooling and having a road trip with people who think in the same wavelength is fun, and really de-stress you out. those 2 hours of journey langsung tidak terasa. we were discussing about PDB, Shell, PETRONAS, as well those memories during PIPE (read: Mega Challenge)

and yeah, on way back home, we made a detour to Tanjung Malim to fulfill my crave for Pau Tanjung Malim. awesome!

Intermission
to kill some time while waiting for 8pm (more on this in the 2nd part), went for a car wash. WeiRDo was like sooo dirty and dusty, even i would mistakenly assumed it's not Waja, but a 4WD.

lo and behold, some of the kotoran were like so degil, even dah spray dengan air jet bertekanan tinggi pun still tak tanggal, had to resort to Polishing the car.

and it cost me RM100.
but then again, WeiRDo is now all shining and look brand spanking new!

2nd Half of the Day:
ilya organised a surprise birthday party for Mmq. it was fun lepaking with those people, and yeah, the craziness continued that night as well, as Apid and Fira dengan gembiranya melayan perangai gila-gilaku ini. am soo in good mood, that my jokes flowed well tonight. hahahaha. Fira as usual layan je lawak bodoh aku, and Apid with her "Celeron" processor added the fun.

to those with camera: ilya, sunshine, Ms Stalker and others, silalah tag gamba/video saya di Facebook k!

melantak Satay, cikedis dan gallons of soft drinks.
pastu balik rumah makan pizza.
*sigh* there goes my diet plan. hehehe

confuse?

i'm confused, and in dire need of someone to help me out of this shit ASAP.

i don't know, but after watching Pursuit of Happyness, i'm having this idea of not to socialise too much with office-mates. i don't know why. perhaps after what happened in the office made me realised, i'm better off with only having professional working relationship with them? i donno. i'm afraid that should we became close, it might cloud our eh silap, my judgment towards them. i'm the type that will do anything for a friend. and yes, you might see me as someone who doesn't care much with what other people say, but i'm easily affected with how people see me. and i guess it's affecting my emotional stability as well rationale thinking.

i love having different sets of friends. it's like going to different masquerade parties. in that party i might be wearing this mask, and at another party i'll be wearing different mask. nevertheless, i always maintain some standardisation throughout the parties. i'll be as open as possible. and i'll be as friendly as possible.

and now, i'm wearing this "i'm an anti-social wannabe" mask. as much as i want to integrate with the society, there's just too many things running in my head and in my plate, that i just can't cope with additional things here and there.

the next time you see me walking all alone, sitting there all by myself, or don't speak much when we're out together. please oh please. engage me. start a conversation with me. for i love being an attentive listener, as that is what i do best.

i need someone who will brighten up my day, ASAP. all this work thingy is making me depressed. aaaaaa. as was pointed out by Ms Stalker, "muka you nampak penat je. bnyk sgt ke keja u?"


*sigh* another depressed entry. Spongebob is NOT helping ke?

of jazz, flags, letters and happyness

my weekend was filled with arts and emotional movies.

went to Sunshine Jazz Fest (yes! after years of "i am soo going") on Friday nite with Lan and Ili. the show was good. i mean, the 1st performer was good. they played good jazz music. i was so memserized, that i even dreamt of sitting on a comfy sofa, puffing a Grade A cuban cigar, in a dimly lit club, while listening to music performed by that group. can't remember the group's name anyway.

then, the 2nd band came onstage. it was not that good, and we collectively agreed that derang syok sendiri. thus, time to go back home lah. and was suppose to be there with another friend of mine, but she bailed out last minute.

well, there goes my 1st Sunshine Jazz Fest. 50-50 mixed reaction.

throughout the weekend, spent the nights watching Flag of Our Fathers, and Letters from Iwo Jima. damn good. go and watch it.

Then, layan Pursuit of Happyness.

Layan beb.
really inspired me. and motivated me.

The Wall

last night was a night full of surprises;
i retreat back to the wall,
and was surprised to see the writings that i wrote on it,
that section was still intact.

i made stride to it,
and there was a girl standing beside it, holding roses.
we exchanged greetings, and on that spot we shared a cup of tea.
while threading carefully on what were scribbled on that wall.

she talked and talked, while gleefully sipping the hot tea;
and there i was, listening attentively to every words being said.
regardless of hearing the same thing over and over again.
truly, i was mesmerized with her presence.
and i was comfortable over there.

then she asked,
wouldn't it be nice if we could have someone whom we can have good conversation with?
and why were you so quiet tonight?
so i told her, i have loads to say to her,
it's just that i'm afraid i might say stupid things,
and i was comfortable listening to her stories.

then, when the owl hoots, and the clock strikes midnite;
it was time to go home.

then i told her,
this wall has a special place in my heart.
i never know what's beyond it,
since it collapsed after i scribbled those words.
words meant for whoever lives at the other side.
somehow or rather, this wall is one precious thing to me,
and i will always hold it dear.
for i do not know,
and i tend to speculate and assume,
how the owner of the wall would feel and react,
to those words.
words that flowed from my heart.

she didn't say anything,
so we bid goodbye.
and each took their own path.

few steps away,
i stopped over,
and turned my head back to the wall,
hoping to catch a glimpse of that girl and where she's heading.

there she was.

walking on the other side of the wall.

TDK and H2:TGA in one freaking night

The Dark Knight

half an hour after the movie, i still has the post-TDK goosebumps. and today, am going to watch it two times. both at imax. gila tak?
well, this movie deserves better than Transformers. why? months after watched Transformers, and with help from Obefiend, i realised that Transformers is actually takdela bagus sangat. the plot bnyk gila loop-holes. it's just that the boy inside me that never grew up was so mesmerized with the movie la kot. the CG and everything. hahaha

TDK, on the other hand, is something different. like totally.
go watch it, even if you despised Heath Ledger after watching him in Brokeback Mountain.

superb casting by Batman, Joker, and Harvey Dent. only thing, Rachel is kinda weak. well, who cares? who needs hot babe when you have caped crusader, bat-pod, tumbler, and crazy villains? hahahahaa.. might sound a bit too gay there :P

Hellboy II: The Golden Army

Penned by Mike Mignolia himself and Guielermo Del Toro (ih, whatever his name laaa!), this movie combined two geniuses. master director and master storyteller. really felt like watching real-live comic book, all with the humours and serious stuff thrown in the course of 2 hours.

suspend you belief, throw away all the logical thinking. that's the rule in reading comic books. and the same rule applied here.

Liz Sherman is hot! (literally and figuratively!)
somehow or rather, my favourite character from this movie is Liz Sherman. hahahahaa. well, coz i'm a man, and she's damn hot. next would be Dr Krauss. such antics! hahahaha



to conclude this entry, here's an excerpt right after my favourite scene in TDK.

we're 95 this year

the company is at 95th spot in 2008 Fortune 500.

syukur Alhamdulillah :)

spongebob

i'm using a new template, experimenting with SpongeBob skin.
don't know why, just that i thought i might interject some fun elements in my depressing entries. hehhee

we are stupid. period

was on MC yesterday, as i woke up with "sakit pinggang". went to a clinic, and the doctor gave me some painkillers and "ubat sapu". touche! asked him, "there's nothing serious right?". and he responded with, "well, you're still walking!" case closed then.

anyway, was introduced by a friend to this groupie in facebook, "TAK NAK PETRONAS". i must admit, those people actually wanted to vent their anger to the government. however, being foolish, they mistakenly assumed that PETRONAS is the government. fools.

one thing led to another, stumbled upon Saiful's fiancee blog. (this is the Saiful who lodged police report that he was sodomized by Anwar).

the best part is, the comments by the readers. check this out.

see, how stupid we are actually? i laughed at our own stupidities.