i have my own stalker :)

i was strolling around in KLCC one fine evening, when suddenly my phone rang.

"helo azamil. ni ******* nih. eh, u kat mana ek?"
"i kat klcc. tgh jalan2 jap"
"i nak tanya u something la. u drive kan everyday?"
"yeap. btw, u kat mana?" (background bunyi bising2)
"i kat isetan, tgh beli kasut.. eh i call u balik kejap lagi"

"eh, u tgh jln with ur fren ke? sori kacau"
"no lah. i sorang2 je nih"
"boleh tak we meet up kejap. i nak tau pasal drive to work nih. u kat mana?"
"err.. i kat tower records. alaa..dekat ngan kfc and cold storage" (walhal actually on the way to toilet)
"ok. i'll meet you there k. bye"
"orais. bye"

(masuk toilet, answered the nature's call, was on the way out to shopping complex)

"u kat mana?"
"aaa.. u kat mana?"
"i kat depan tower records la ni"
"ok, stay there. satgi i sampai" (walhal this time dah nak nmpk dia)

(sampai depan tower records, dia plak kat dalam. browsing through the CDs)

"wassup?"
"ey sorry sgt2. i rasa macam stalker plak. keep calling you"

at that point of time, siyes rasa cam nak gelak je. *insert laugh track here*

so basically, here i am, officially announcing to the rest of the world.

i have a stalker! hehehe :)

hopefully she don't know the existence of this blog. if not, sure i die one! hahahhaa

and spent the whole petang sampai maghrib chit-chatting. and i guess we had good conversation. altho i guess most of the times i kinda bored her with my talking points. especially when asked me on why i have no girlfriend.

but that, is another story to be told at another time.

two emails today

One of my client (now i'm working at Group Talent Sourcing a.k.a Recruitment) sent me this email, with my Bosses (Manager and Senior Manager) and several other Managers in the mailing list:

Dear Azamil

Thank you very much for syndicating with us to gauge our requirement.
We truly appreciate the prompt and personal touch. All the candidates
are acceptable to us. Please advise whether they have been interviewed
and their earliest availability to join us (we will consider taking the one
who can join us at earliest).

Then, my manager responded this, while cc-ed it to my Senior Manager:

Good job. Please do not loose the momentum. As I said, view all needs for HRM Div as critical and see your clients personally. Now she has mentioned that, let her know immediately which of the candidates can come in ASAP.

life is good :)

why i am not pissed off with the price hike, and yet why i am mad with the price hike

why i'm not pissed off

• it is inevitable. current (which is now previous) subsidy structure could no longer support the high price of processed petrol, which has direct relation with the high price of crude oil price
• well, Malaysia's price is still relatively among the cheap ones in Asia region. (ok, by this time those friends in Malaysia will give snide remarks, while those working outside Malaysia will agree with me, yet will have that little smile at the corner of their mouth)

why i am mad

• days before the announcement, the message being delivered was totally unrelated. "The government is looking on restructuring the fuel subsidy, this is line with the high cost burdened by the government. These restructuring is targeted to be implemented in August. The Prime Minister will make an official announcement in this week". thus, i was expecting that the price hike is to be implemented sometime in August, and by that, rakyat would have ample time to re-adjust their living style. but nooooooo.....
  
• because the rakyat is hurling nasty remarks to Pak Lah. it is not his fault that the oil price in the global market is breaking price records every other day. but please put the blame on the Menteri Penerangan and Menteri Perdagangan Dalam Negeri dan Hal Ehwal Pengguna. they did not convey the correct message. all this while, the message that we received was as appended below:-

Kos bahan api ikut pasaran global selepas mekanisme baru skim subsidi diperkenal Ogos

KUALA LUMPUR: Harga petrol dan diesel di negara ini dijangka diapungkan mengikut harga pasaran global selepas mekanisme baru skim subsidi bahan api dilaksanakan kerajaan Ogos ini.

Pada masa ini, harga bahan api itu dikawal kerajaan dengan memberi subsidi yang besar, tetapi Menteri Perdagangan Dalam Negeri dan Hal Ehwal Pengguna, Datuk Shahrir Samad semalam berkata, kawalan harga minyak akan ditarik balik apabila mekanisme baru skim subsidi dilaksanakan dalam tempoh dua bulan lagi.

Menerusi cara itu, katanya, harga bahan api di Malaysia akan mencerminkan harga pasaran global.

"Ia bergantung kepada harga pasaran global," katanya kepada pemberita selepas merasmikan Sidang Kemuncak Pembinaan Malaysia 2008 di Pusat Dagangan Dunia Putra (PWTC) di sini.

Ketika ini, harga petrol di negara ini selepas subsidi hanya RM1.92 seliter dan diesel RM1.58, jauh lebih rendah berbanding RM5.20 (petrol) dan RM4.33 (diesel) di Singapura yang mengapungkan harga bahan api itu.

Bagaimanapun, Shahrir berkata, kerajaan sedang menimbang untuk melaksanakan dua mekanisme pemberian subsidi iaitu menerusi penetapan kuota dan pendapatan tunai bagi mengurangkan beban rakyat.

"Kerajaan tidak boleh hanya menaikkan harga petrol dan diesel tanpa memberi suatu bentuk subsidi kepada rakyat, terutama golongan yang berhak menerimanya.

"Oleh itu, kerajaan sedang menimbang pelaksanaan dua mekanisme pemberian subsidi, iaitu sama ada menerusi penetapan kuota melalui penggunaan MyKad atau pendapatan tunai," katanya tanpa menjelaskan secara terperinci mekanisme itu.

Kelmarin, Shahrir berkata, penstrukturan mekanisme baru skim subsidi bahan api itu sudah dikemukakan kepada Kementerian Kewangan dan akan diputuskan Jawatankuasa Kabinet Menangani Inflasi.

Jawatankuasa itu mengadakan mesyuaratnya semalam bagi memuktamadkan pelbagai cadangan untuk pertimbangan akhir Kabinet, hari ini.

Ditanya sama ada Perdana Menteri, Datuk Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi akan mengumumkan kenaikan harga petrol dan diesel serta mekanisme baru skim subsidi selepas mempengerusikan mesyuarat Kabinet hari ini, Shahrir berkata:

"Kita tidak boleh membuat keputusan lagi... esok (hari ini) perlu dilihat sebagai sebahagian daripada langkah penyusunan atau penstrukturan semula skim subsidi.

"Kita sedang meneliti langkah bagaimana untuk menaikkan harga petrol dan diesel di pam dan pada masa yang sama kita boleh membanteras penyeludupan, penyalahgunaan dan ketirisan subsidi.

"Kita perlu menunggu esok (hari ini). Pada asasnya adalah untuk meningkatkan harga petrol dan diesel di pam tetapi pada masa yang sama juga mahukan supaya subsidi sampai kepada rakyat," katanya.

Shahrir berkata, subsidi ke atas bahan komoditi itu dijangka meningkat daripada RM55 bilion kepada RM65 bilion tahun ini jika mengambil kira purata harga minyak mentah pada paras AS$136 setong.

Katanya, kerajaan juga kehilangan hasil pendapatan daripada peruntukan subsidi untuk bekalan minyak dan gas kepada Pengeluar Tenaga Bebas (IPP), sektor tenaga, sektor bukan tenaga dan sektor lain, khususnya di Semenanjung.

"Dengan jangkaan harga minyak di pasaran dunia terus meningkat, kerajaan perlu menyediakan tambahan peruntukan untuk subsidi bahan api berkenaan." katanya.

Kerajaan, Petronas tanggung subsidi bahan api RM36b

got this from Berita Harian. Statement from Hassan Marican.
if you need further clarification, do not hesitate to post it here.

KUALA LUMPUR: Kerajaan dan Petronas secara terkumpul masih memberi subsidi berjumlah kira-kira RM36 bilion bagi petrol, diesel serta gas tahun ini, di sebalik kenaikan harga bahan bakar berkenaan yang diumumkan, kelmarin.

Presiden dan Ketua Eksekutif Petronas, Tan Sri Mohd Hassan Marican, berkata berdasarkan penggunaan 11 bilion liter petrol serta 6.2 bilion liter diesel di negara ini tahun lalu, jumlah subsidi yang perlu ditanggung kerajaan bagi kedua-dua bahan bakar itu tahun ini ialah RM5.16 bilion.

Daripada jumlah itu, RM3.3 bilion adalah subsidi untuk petrol, manakala RM1.86 bilion lagi diesel.

Beliau juga menjelaskan, kerajaan masih memberi subsidi 30 sen seliter bagi petrol dan diesel di sebalik keputusan menaikkan harga kedua-dua bahan bakar itu, masing-masing sebanyak 78 sen dan RM1 seliter.

"Jika dicampurkan dengan bayaran tunai sebanyak RM625 setahun kepada pemilik kereta di bawah 2,000cc dan RM150 kepada pemilik motosikal di bawah 250cc, jumlah subsidi yang ditanggung kerajaan ialah sebanyak RM13.03 bilion," katanya pada taklimat media di sini, semalam.

Setakat akhir tahun lalu, jumlah kereta di bawah 2,000 cc yang berdaftar di negara ini berjumlah 10.7 juta, manakala motosikal di bawah 250 cc pula 7.9 juta.

Berdasarkan angka itu, jumlah pembayaran tunai kepada pemilik kereta di bawah 2,000cc ialah RM6.69 bilion, manakala pemilik motosikal di bawah 250cc pula sebanyak RM1.18 bilion.

Mohd Hassan berkata, Petronas juga masih memberi subsidi yang besar bagi gas yang dibekalkan kepada sektor elektrik dan industri, walaupun harganya dinaikkan antara 124 peratus dan 161 peratus.

Berdasarkan penggunaan tahun lalu, subsidi gas yang diberi Petronas kepada sektor elektrik dan industri tahun ini berjumlah RM23.4 bilion.

Beliau menjelaskan, harga baru RM14.31 mmBtu yang dibekalkan kepada sektor elektrik dan RM24.54 mmBtu kepada sektor industri adalah jauh lebih rendah daripada harga pasaran iaitu masing-masing RM44.42 mmBtu dan RM60.65 mmBtu.

Katanya, hanya kira-kira 30 peratus daripada gas yang dibekalkan itu adalah yang dikeluarkan sendiri oleh Petronas.

Pada taklimat itu, beliau turut menjelaskan antara 60 hingga 65 peratus daripada keuntungan yang diraih Petronas setiap tahun dikembalikan semula kepada kerajaan dalam bentuk cukai, dividen, royalti dan duti eksport, sementara bakinya digunakan untuk pelaburan semula.

Mohd Hassan berkata, tahun lalu syarikat minyak kebangsaan itu meraih keuntungan sebanyak RM86.8 bilion.

Daripada jumlah itu, RM52.3 bilion dikembalikan kepada kerajaan, RM7.8 bilion bagi bayaran kepentingan minoriti dan cukai asing, manakala baki RM26.7 bilion dilaburkan semula.

Beliau Hassan menegaskan, Petronas perlu membuat pelaburan semula bagi mengembangkan perniagaannya untuk memastikan ia boleh terus menyumbang kepada pendapatan kerajaan, walaupun selepas negara sudah kehabisan rizab minyak dan gasnya.

"Jika berdasarkan sumbangan Petronas kepada kerajaan tahun lalu sebanyak RM52.3 bilion, ia mewakili kira-kira 35.4 peratus daripada jumlah pendapatan Kerajaan Persekutuan tahun lalu.

"Bayangkan apa yang akan berlaku jika Petronas selama ini tidak melaburkan semula keuntungannya, tetapi menggunakan semuanya untuk subsidi," katanya.

Beliau berkata, sejak penubuhannya pada 1974, Petronas meraih keuntungan terkumpul RM570 bilion dan daripada jumlah itu RM335 bilion dikembalikan semula kepada kerajaan, manakala RM178.9 bilion dilaburkan semula.

Mohd Hassan berkata, Malaysia mungkin menjadi pengimport bersih minyak mentah menjelang 2011 jika kadar pertumbuhan penggunaan bahan api di negara ini yang kini sekitar enam peratus setahun berterusan.

Justeru, katanya, Malaysia perlu berjimat dan menggunakan bahan bakar dengan lebih cekap.

Mengenai tanggapan bahawa syarikat minyak termasuk Petronas kini meraih keuntungan besar berikutan harga minyak mentah dunia yang tinggi, Mohd Hassan berkata sebenarnya margin keuntungan dalam industri itu kini semakin kecil berikutan peningkatan tinggi kos pengeluaran dan cari gali.

"Walaupun harga minyak mentah meningkat kira-kira 100 peratus sejak tiga tahun lalu, kos dalam industri meningkat lebih tinggi sebanyak 200 peratus," katanya.

this is a selfish entry

i'm going to talk about something which is much bigger than the petrol price hike, or the increase of global food price.

i want to talk about me.

she told me she has to start saving money for her trip next month. so, she said let's go out next month. then i pointed out to her, she'll be off next month for a week or two, then when she came back, for sure she gonna need to save some money to make it through the month.

eventually, perhaps next next month la kot?

entahlah.

sometimes i found it quite amusing, thinking back on how i could tahan till this day.
well, people say, the harder it is, lagi berbaloi.
or is it?

i guess i'm gonna follow a friend's advise: wait till she asks you out. then jual mahal la.

then next question is: what if she never do that?

then have to move on la kot.

and after all these years, i am yet to raise the white flag. permanently.

entahla..

oh, before that. is there any other way for me to overcome this brick wall? i'm so attached to it that i found it's hard for me to turn my back of it. i need to go beyond this brick wall!

help!

phlegmatic vs sanguine

as much as i truly understand the well-accepted fact that life is not so fair, i always hold on to the belief that God is fair, and the only one who is perfect.

being a phlegmatic person, i don't actually mind if someone just came up to me and said, "hey, i know we are suppose to hang out together now, but came up, and afraid i can't make it". as long as the reason given is valid, then i guess i'll excuse that person.

but i always find myself in the opposite situation.

if i'm late to a meeting or something, others frowned.
if i had to make last minute cancellation, others say i am being irresponsible.
if i made a mistake or some awkward remarks, others remember till eternity.

add the guilty consciences, and i present to you: sleepless nights and feeling of insecurity. more like i am the guilty ones. and i had to apologise to all.


but i'm only human after all.


if i can accept, forgive and forget; why can't they?

now i understand why i am attracted to the serenity of being alone. just me and the nature.
no pre-conceived ideas, no pre-judgement, no high expectation from me. just me.

but then again, being a strong sanguine, it's my nature to be amongst people. have this feel to be accepted in the crowd.

clash of the personalities?

u decide.

neverending story of salary

most of my friends in the company, especially those working in the technical line, has this habit of complaining that the current salary is low, and not competitive with the market outside. they felt they deserve much more than what they earn right now. and conveniently forgetting that the fact that apart of basic salary, they are given extra allowance as well.

unlike us, working in non-technical areas.

did my best to educate them, to make them see from the bigger picture, outside their current scope; and although it seems that i am fighting a losing battle, glimmer of hopes came to me one fine day.

some of my friends managed to see things from my angle.
and that is good enough.

the Last Lecture

was reading through the Last Lecture, by Randy Pausch; when i stumbled upon this very words:

brick walls are there for a reason. they give us a chance to show how badly we want something.

gamba header

i'm still alive

i'm back.

too many things happened, things with big magnitude till events with small magnitude.
and i thought that i could braved myself, then when something really hard struck my head.
(well, basically someone who barely know me pointed this to me)

i'm the type that is so easy to get excited with things happening around me.

case 1:
out of the blue, she texted me, asking why the sudden silence. so i was overjoyed.
when i asked her out for drinks, and she had to give reasons why she cant a.k.a rejected the offer, i easily felt demoralised and yah, sad.
then when she suddenly asked me out for lunch, i was overjoyed back.
when she declined an invitation for a movie, with two different reasons given at different times, well, i guess having this ability to read between the lines, i was demoralised again. down gile.

case 2:
we were out for a whitewater rafting at Sg Kampar (my goodness, it was really good! the pictures can be viewed at my facebook). although i've been rafting before, 3 times to be exact, at the same river, i just couldn't stop feeling nervous. thanks to my poker-face practice, i managed to display a face full of confidence, while deep inside me, i was nervous!
when we start paddling, the excitement came in a rush. like a river that flows very fast when it go through the dam.
then, we did the body-rafting thingy (hell yeah, it was reallllyyy gooodddd.. especially the roller coaster part hehehe). i just had to body-raft a couple of times. the heart was pounding hard and fast. i can felt the adrenaline rush to the whole body.
and when the rafting ended where it was suppose to end, i felt.. well, calmness came and embraced me throughout the journey back to the base camp. no more adrenaline rush, no more the fast beating heart, no more feeling terrified or extremely nervous.


was about to write on something depressing, but i guess the best way for a good therapy session is to remember good and wonderful things, rather than re-imagining back all the not-so-good things.

pronce caspian is out today. and i planned to watch it tomorrow. there is a huge possibility of i'm going to watch it alone la kot. like i'm not used to it la kan? hehehe

oh ya, one of my best buddies went from the deep plunge into the dark abyss of lost love, and he's right now flying high among the stars. or should i re-word that to clouds of love? well, best of luck bro.

aku cuma nak tunggu ko buat je pengumuman tu depan kiterang. don't think you can hide the fact, when basically the whole world knows about it.
fact: the seller got sold. hahahaha..dulu konon nak jual aku, last2 ko yang terjual. ke tu sebenarnya taktik ko untuk menjual diri sendiri? hurrmmm...

final note: hopefully prince caspian is not that bad as the review(s) said.