the clock's hands

wishful thinking:

if i could turn back time, what would i do?
in fact, what would you do?
share with us.

pasar malam

what would you do if you are to go back home at 8pm, and it is still 6pm? you have nothing to do in the office, and you just bored yourself strolling around the shopping complex day after day.

in my case, i called her. and luckily, she told me that since she's fasting, she wanted to go to nearby pasar malam to buy some food for her to buka puasa. and i told her that i want to tag along. and she told me to meet her downstairs.

i really miss the fun of spending your time walking along the stalls at pasar malam. you get to see lots of faces, various behaviours by the public, as well as what makes Malaysia wonderful. the truly diversity of food one can eat. nasi kerabu, ayam percik, nasi ayam, nasi lemak, murtabak (my favourite), ayam goreng, rangka ayam goreng, kebab, and not forgetting TauFuFa.

bought meself ayam goreng and taufufa for the eldest sister, while she bought kuey teow and ayam goreng for herself.

mental note to myself: Monday is Pasar Malam day! :)

High by Lighthouse Family

When you're close to tears remember
Some day it'll all be over
One day we're gonna get so high
And though it's darker than December
What's ahead is a different colour
One day we're gonna get so high

And at
The end of the day
remember the days
When we were close to the edge
And we'll wonder how we made it through the night
The end of the day
remember the way
We stayed so close till the end
We'll remember it was me and you

'Cause we are gonna be forever you and me
You will always keep me flying high in the sky of love

Don't you think it's time you started
Doing what we always wanted
One day we're gonna get so high
'Cause even the impossible
is easy when we got each other
One day 'we're gonna get so high

And at
The end of the day
remember the days
when we were close to the edge
And we'll wonder how we made it through the night
The end of the day
remember the way
We stayed so close to till the end
We'll remember it was me and you.

'Cause we are gonna be forever you and me
You will always keep me flying high in the sky of love
'Cause we are gonna be forever you and me
You will always keep me flying high in the sky of love

High, high, high, high, high, high, high, high

And at
The end of the day
remember the days
when we were close to the edge
And we'll wonder how we made it through the night
The end of the day
remember the way
We stayed so close to till the end
We'll remember it was me and you.

'Cause we are gonna be forever you and me
You will always keep me flying high in the sky of love (x3)

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well, there goes my self-imposed exile. one just cannot tahan himself anymore from blogging. it's like too many things happened, and ironically i'm not suppose to blog.

ok, here goes.. Black dah kahwin, Amen pun sama. and ramai gak yang dah bertunang. moga2 murah rezeki, hidup aman bahagia. pesan aku sebagai orang bujang:

hidup tak selalunya indah. tapi kita mampu untuk membuat ia indah semula, dan setiap masa

orang bujang bagi pesanan kat mereka-mereka yang sudah berkahwin dan yg bakal kahwin. :) how's that?

fell in love with this song masa mula2 dengar kat radio. highly motivating.

so, the big question now is, why did i decided to stop blogging for a while? (which of course, the exile ended prematurely) why?

well, i guess maybe during that time i was emotionally exhausted kot. focused too much on giving, and neglecting the receiving part. and somehow affected my work performance (seriously, burnt out gile2), and not forgetting the social performance (if there is such thing)

but now, dah re-energized! hopefully. the nasi kerabu, nasi dagang, satar, otak2, ayam bakar, daging bakar, and ayam percik yang telah dimakan sepanjang percutian Jalan-Jalan Cari Makan Pantai Timur, should be more than enough kan? hehehe

i don't want you to have wrong thoughts

self reflect

this is to inform that i'll be on self-imposed exile throughout July and August. meaning that i'll be taking a break from blogging for 2 months, as i am in the midst of preparing myself for something big. something important. which i really hope would change the man that i am right now. well, not totally changed. improvisation. yeah.. i hope from my self-imposed exile, i'll discover something and eventually i'll be able to improvise and motivate myself back.

godspeed.

p/s: i'm still in KL and contactable thru my gtalk, YM, msn and mobile phone :)

mood swing

had a major mood swing last Monday. everything was OK when i stepped out of the office. then, one by one unfortunate events happened, and by the time i reached home, told Ummi:

rasa macam nak tumbuk orang je

tried to control the temper, but nearly lost while having dinner with the family. decided to retire to bed and have early nite off. switched on the air-cond, switched off the lights, and lay on my bed. unfortunately, the body was shivering so much, that even when i caught some winks, the temper was haunting my sleep.
get dressed, went out to the car, and drove away from house with musics blaring from the car's speakers. after few minutes, decided that driving with uncontrollable temper is not a wise option. went back home, then forced myself to sleep.

woke up early, and feeling refreshed. but was so tired throughout the day, that i nearly lose it when a friend had to reject my invitation to watch movie together later that night.

during drive back home, thought that i had to watch Transformers. went straight to Cineleisure.

had a good night.

on the other note, so sorry alia for turning down your offer, as on that time, i thought that i'll be going out that night with a friend.

and yea, had a session with a financial planner. and by tomorrow, i have to suggest at least one name to her. referral. interested to have someone plan your financial strategy?

as for now, i'm still shivering. guess i need to let go of this temper/anger. but how?

*sigh*

i really need an escapade holiday.

and yeap, i'm getting used back to watching movies alone. (^_^)

s.i.g.n.i.n.g.o.f.f

first weekend of July

2 unhappy news received in 4 days period.

i'm in uncertain feeling.

i'm glad i've let it out of my chest, and glad she understands. she even offered to help me. i'm making it official now. she is my offline mentor. and she has publicly stated before this that i am her protege.

a good weekend, altho some outing plans had to be canceled.

Saturday: it was my cousins' wedding. the sister and the brother held the wedding reception together. and was glad to be there. i was in my Baju Melayu with Samping Songket (minus the songkok. i don't like to cover my head), and there i was, moving around the "khemah", making trips between the kitchen and the khemah, for i volunteered to help in serving the foods for the guests. the other cousins and i had this non-verbal agreement of who'll be doing what and where.

later that day, went for a futsal session with nodi, alia (she's back from induction. been missing her for 3 weeks!), syeena, nana, lan, apis, idris and his friends. was expecting lan's sister to tag along, but unfortunately she couldn't makt it for the nite.

after the routine minum2 session, went to KJ, and hang-out with Iqbal and Mior. we basically talked rubbish throughout the night, but the most important thing is, we just can't wait for Starcraft 2 !!!


Sunday:

had a meeting with the G-Team of Projek TEKAD (namely naz, asma, aizan, ziad and cha'aint) at Putrajaya. well, there was a photo-taking session first prior to the meeting.

then rushed all the way from Putrajaya to PJ, for lunch date with UTP colleagues (cipoi, salmiah, matpi and peet). had a good time with those people. the food was good (altho it was a bit pricey. RM9 for nasi putih, sayur and ayam goreng!), and the durian was EXCELLENT! :)

later that night, managed to drag along the parents to IKEA. :)

it was a good weekend. from my childhood friends way back in SRK Kg Tunku, to my Seaport best friends, to UTP geng2 sekepala, and to dearest TEKAD family. those missing are MCKK friends (eh kejap..matpi kan budak koleq..ok la, cukup syarat) and my office-mates (hurmm..naz can be considered as office-mates jugak la kan?)

i am dead tired now. but it was worth it!

hurmm.. tu je la kot.
tido2

on the way back from pangkor

there were silence in the car, so i assumed that the passengers were sleeping. then suddenly hunny asked me,

"bet, kenapa you broke off with your girlfriend?"

and i told her why. which for sure i won't post it here. and throughout me telling her why, again, she asked me another question.

"do you miss her?

shoot.

then she gave a sisterly advice.

"people evolved from being undergraduates to working adults. these two totally different worlds provide us with different environment. and that's why, you can see those lovely couples back in university, when they entered the working world, the inevitable happened. they broke-up"

"people evolves in different speed. sometimes, you may outgrow your partner, and vice-versa. this indifference, from the priorities in life, targets, see things in future, will result in both of you being incompatible to each other, resulting in frictions that lead to separation."

"time change people. don't be afraid if who you are now is totally different from who you were years ago. you might be someone else in years to come. learn from the experience. enrich your life"

"look around and find someone who will grow and evolve together with you."

will do

just before she entered her house, told her to let me know when she reached the hotel.
and she said, will do.

and up till now, i am yet to hear anything from her.

*sigh*

ketok kepala tu kang

the irony

i realised something ironic today.

sometimes, it's the feeling of insecurity that make us secure.
and sometimes, feeling secured over something will cause the insecurity of it.

come to think of it, i should realise this years ago. 'duh!

live life as it is

live life as it is.

this is my current mantra. there are so many things that are up for grabs, as well as to chase for, but at the end of the day, you'll only live with what you have. stop pretending of who you are not. be real, and be yourself. nothing is more precious than who you really are. have time outs with friends, good friends and neighbours. spend quality times with your family and loved ones. spread love to others, while hoping that others will give you their love too. smile, even when you feel like not smiling. your smile might mean something wonderful to other souls.

i'm living my life as it is. and i'm loving it. and i love you.