of Raya, Work, Reflection and everything in between

it would be nice if we could replay back the past

well, this year Raya sure is different. a lot. period. not wearing songkok during 1st day of Raya. first time handing out green packets of duit raya. is declared as not eligible to receive duit raya (altho Opah Wan Bidah is the only one who gave the green packet. yeay!). visited 3 graves (Atok's in PJ, Atok's in Perak and Opah's in KL). no kuah kacang throughout 4 days of Raya. had Rendang Kerbau (seriously, it is Good! sedap gila). managed to eat Dodol on the 4th day of Raya.

but nothing beats the excitement of having the whole family members under one roof.
the 1st Raya, we gathered at my Nenek's place in PJ. and seems like everyone was there. had great time meeting with dearest cousins, menyakat makcik2 kat dapur, plus helping myself to the dishes yang terhidang. menu of the day: nasi himpit, sambal sotong, kuah lodeh, rendang kerang, ayam masak merah, rendang daging, nasi minyak, kari ayam and sayur acar.

2nd day of Raya, we gathered at Mak Ndek's place at Kampung Gajah, and had some do'a selamat to welcome Aidil Fitri, and may The Almighty blessed us all throughout the year. Menu of the day: Rendang Kerbau, Rendang Kerang, Rendang Daging, Lemang, Spaghetti, Tomyam Campur, Tempoyak and Fruit Cocktail.

not forgetting, Baskin Robbin's ice cream later that evening.

earlier today, i was in the office. yes. i am a dedicated staff. willingly not taking any Raya leaves, just to be in the office and working. unlike others. hehehe.
yela tu..kerja la sangat.

since was soo not in the mood, decided to lepak2 with Kudin and Iyra at the level below. we kinda planned to have a small raya gathering (read: makan2 kuih). well, it didn't happened as we planned. since there were lots of Kuih Raya, decided to invite those who were in the office to come and join the celebration. plus, all big-big bosses are still on vacation. hehehe. we served the guests with tea, Kuih Raya (iyra baked Kuih CornFlakes and cookies, Kudin bought some kuih and he baked a "sponge" cake, and yours truly just brought the kuih that the client gave the other day), and most importantly, Lagu-Lagu Raya. Oh yeah, had my 1st real Dodol! man, it sure feels good to have real dodol. hahahahaha. big Thanks to Iyra :)

later, after office hour, went to Najwa's crib with Shaliza. Boy, the drive to Rawang sure was worth it. we were served with Nasi Goreng, MeeHoon Goreng Basah, Rendang Limpa+Ayam (my first rendang that mixed both beef and chicken..it was dat good!), Nasi Himpit, Mini Samosa, Heart-Shaped Nuggets and Keropok Goreng.


i guess now i know why lately i kinda acted like a rebellious son. of why i kinda disobeyed my parents' words, why i decided to go against their wishes, and why sometimes i felt like directly opposing to whatever they are saying.

i am afraid.

afraid of having to live under my parents' shadows for eternity. afraid of known as "anak encik Nazlan", not as "Azamil Izzat". i guess its the feeling of wanting to be known as Me. not by someone-who-is-related-to-someone, but by my own identity and personality.

but looking back at my father, altho people back at Kampung knew him by "Lan anak Brahim", he is proud of that. and yet, most people know and acknowledge him as "Haji Nazlan". he is now living under his parents' shadow, yet he has a shadow on its own. to others, he has and stands with his own identity. but he humbly accepts when people acknowledge him with his parents' shadows.

i guess it's time for me to do the same thing.
seek shelter underneath the parents' shadows, while reaching out, so one day, i would be able to stand under my own shadow. and yet, still exists under their shadows.

it's time