and then the goal was scored~

we just lost a match. Ultracrocs CF 1 - 3 Azurri FC. thanks to me.

right after Azurri scored the 2nd goal, the team was demoralised. to be honest, i felt as if the whole team plus the supporters were against me.
the 3rd goal was the final straw for some players. they even suggested that the goalkeeper is to be substituted.

they told me to trust the defenders. of course i trust them. that's why i decided to run outside the penalty box just to clear the ball, thinking that the defenders will cover me up.

they told me that the 3rd goal was a stupid mistake. well, shit happens. and it chose to happen exactly that time, when the ball slipped through my armpit just as i was about to drop my body.

shit happens. big deal. temper overflares. big deal. i cried. big deal. we lost. we need to rebound.

when the striker failed to convert chances, he is forgiven. when the goalkeeper failed to stop the opponent from scoring goal, he is the culprit. but when the goalkeeper did schoolboy and stupid mistakes, he is worthless. big deal.

when is the right time for the goalkeeper to charge ahead, and when is the right time for the goalkeeper to stand back at the goalpost? people keep on telling me, you should just charge when you feel you can do it, with great confidence. but how to tell that the confidence came at the right time?

to add insult to the injury, Azurri was having only 10 man on the field, as one player was sent off. and we were unable to capitalise on that advantage.

and right now, i feel shitty. managed to stop crying, but deep inside i am hurt. it is not the feeling of losing, but the feeling to know that your own team-mates felt you are worthless.

shit happens.

big deal.

and then, the goal was scored~