of Truce and Peace

latest development from the troubled land called Palestine reveals the nature of both sides. it shows of how ideology that originated from the same cause, but differs in methods of implementation, is the main reason why.

both sides want to liberate Palestine state from the Zionist regime. both sides long for peace and stability. and ironically, both sides believe that victory is to be achieved no matter what it costs. Fatah and Hamas. the so called Liberators of the Holy Land.

both sides claimed that they are doing what's good for the Palestinian. they are fighting the oppression by the Zionist. that's what they claimed they are doing at this moment. from the way i see it, it is more than that. it's more than fighting the oppression. the truth is, they are fighting among themselves, proving that they are right, and others who opposed them is wrong. reminds me of our local political arena, but that is a different story altogether.

remember those "funds" collected for Hamas people few months ago? funds collection initiated by local and international Muslims in order to help the Party to at least have some cash, although limited it may seems, due to economic and monetary sanction by the US to them. remember? remember how those people gave fiery speeches:-

"it is our duty to help our brethren Muslims in Palestine!!"
"your support will be remembered by the Palestinian!!"
"help us in this crusade/struggle against Zionist oppression!!!"

and now, here i am wondering. where does all the money goes to?

1. used to pay all government servants' long due wages?
2. used to buy crates of firearms, ammunitions and grenades in order to wage war with the Zionist?
   
3. used to buy crates of firearms, ammunitions and grenades in order to wage war with Fatah?

thought number 3 send shivers down my spine.

3mptin355

there is an emptiness inside of me. a part of me is missing. it was there previously, but due to some unforeseen circumstances, i've lost it. something that is dear to me.

felt like its been ages since i last involved in any community work. or at least do something good for the society. Flood relief volunteer? missed it because...because...see, that's what i'm talking about. the fire and passion are just not there. hiding or lurking in the shadow somewhere. i need to do something to kick-start the volunteering engine, and hopefully rekindle back the spirit.

is my current life is taking its toil on me? i mean, have i transformed into some creature that is so centered and focused in his work? i dont think so. a creature that plays all the time? nope. a creature that spends all day long sleeping and resting under trees? i wish i could be like that.

in a nutshell, infect me back with the V virus, people!!!!!!!!!!!!! i really need the Volunteerism virus!!!!!

L.I.V.E.I.N.C.O.N.C.E.R.T

its already nearing the end of January 2007. looking back to the things happened during the 1st month of 2007, i was delighted to know that everything that happened helps a lot in making who i am in the time being. basically, the year started with a beautiful, awesome BANG!! then followed by a rollercoaster of emotional experience. then the weekend that helped me and others to be part of the fraternity. as well as times spent with dear lovely friends. and not forgetting the beautiful dreams (unfortunately, it only lasted for one week only). and not forgetting, the ever piling of work and assignments to be completed. i love my life.

most people live in denial. I live in denial. i mean, you have to think differently from others, in order to get a clearer picture and to gain more understanding of what is happening around you. say, for example: Bush decided to send more troops to Iraq. the democrats, and most people of the world are against the idea. but Bush decided to continue with his plan. he is in denial to the reality presented to him. he believes he could go againstall odds, and proves those bloody opposition that he's right. and USA will once again prevail in its crusade to erase terrorist from this sacred place called Earth.

its good to be denial. in Bush's case, being in denial helps to create an aura of stubbornness and not the one to mess with.

well, perhaps i've given a wrong example.

ctrl+alt+del

earlier i've mentioned that i am living in denial. to set the record straight, there are times when i live in denial. but most of the times, i'm a dedicated procastinator and devil's advocater. i'm denial when people tell me that i've done a job well done; when i know that i can improvise and do better than that. i live in denial when people told me that i'm a bit smaller@thinner@slimmer than what i used to be; but i deny that just by performing some reality check->boboy. he's still there. still 4 months year old. people, thank you for all the kind words. it motivates me to do better :)

this coming saturday, yours truly would be off to Genting to watch Boyz II Men live in concert. quoting iyra,"ewww...that's soo gay".haha.quoting elle, "we just want to walk down the memory lane".people, those words can never be truer.FYI, i'm not a big FAN of Boyz II Men. but i enjoy listening to their songs, although at times the lyrics are like super-duper jiwang.hehe.but i guess the main reason why i enjoy Boyz II Men music is ONLY because of this song: Song For Mama. i always imagining me singing this song in front of my parents, but unfortunately, i haven't got the courage to do so. then came One Sweet Days. altho from my understanding that song is sang by dead people. hehehe.

Muse: live in concert. this one stirs the ever reactive pot of controversions. 1st: the tour is sponsored by Tiger Beer. 2nd: free tickets available via contests are only given to non-muslim ages 18++.

2nd: i am happy when i read on this issue. you see, i believe that our society has become more sensitive on this issue. by allowing only for non-muslims to win free tickets, the organiser should be praised, and deserved a pat on their shoulders. why? because i believe that these tickets up for grab are directly sponsored by Tiger Beer. and therefore, it would be suicidal for the organisers to give it to muslims too.

1st: most of the concerts that involved foreign artistes are either being sponsored by liquor company, cigarette company, or telco company. and i believe that most of the ticket sales revenue will not be channeled back to sponsors, but to event management company, as well as the artiste's record label company. sponsors wont get anything, except for mass publicity, and may successfully created so-called "ingat muse, ingat Tiger Beer!" thingy. and yeah, i guess Tiger Beer will have the exclusive rights to be the exclusive liquor supplier for the night.

marilah kita berdebat.

people say, if u really want it, u will work hard not to let it go away.
i say, if u really want it, but somehow u took things for granted, and u are causing great pain to what u want, then its time to let it go.

quotin myself, "i guess most people have this misconception. its actually difficult to be an ass"

the dream watcher

i seldomly remembers things i dreamt about in my everyday sleeps. but lately, in this 4-5 days, i can vaguely recall what i've been dreaming.

basically, for the past 2-3 days, somehow in my dreams there is this one constant character in all of it. the interesting part is, there is no verbal communication happening between me and the person in my dreams. it was either thru texting (hehe, my dream is quite canggih u know), or it was like the person is there but not talking to me, or even by somebody either spelling or saying the name outloud.

people says that if you talk about your dreams, you're going to jinx it. so, people, help me to jinx this particular dream. (might sounds a bit like khurafat, but i just want to share what i've dreamt last night).

after a brief period of dreaming of watching that person going through some dilemmas and problems, i was transported to another place. sometime in near future. and there i was, spending some time with people i cannot recall now, when all of a sudden, heard a booming sound. looked into the sky, and saw this wonderful patterns of smoke and dust. something like what you'll see during a space shuttle launching. but something was fishy. something was different at that time. then i realize, i was experiencing the breath-taking view on the launch of nuclear missiles.

perhaps i was heavily influenced by Tom Clancy's novels, but in this particular dream, i had this feeling of, "bloody americans, now they are attacking my country". what did i do? ran into a bomb-shelter (how i was there, that's another thing to ponder), and realized that bomb shelter is not safe enough. to escape or even survive from the attack, i must flee the country and go to Europe.

then i found myself in front of pisang goreng stall, discussing with my mother what should we do. when she suggested that we are to take the 1st flight available to Europe the next morning, i told her that i do not own any passport yet. (this is a fact. all my family members already owned international passport. they went to Indonesia last weekend, except me). then she said, "its ok. esok kita buat sama-sama.i'll just say that i've lost mine".

then, decided to buy some pisang goreng from the stall. coincidentally, the stall is about to close. managed to buy some pisang goreng, and witnessed another good samaritan act. a man bought a plastic full of pisang goreng, handed all of it to a boy who came after i bought the last pisang goreng.

and there i was, thinking, "is this the least we can do while waiting for the impending doom? is this man acting like that because he knows the end is near, or he is truly sincere?"

as i turned my head off the stall, i found myself in my room back, looking directly at the clock. it was 5.45am in the morning, and i just woke up from my dream.

two things i remembered most from this particular dream:
1- the person.
2- scenery of nuclear missiles being launched.

i dont want to jinx the 1st part. i just want to jinx the 2nd part of last night's dream.

suzana@70an: the aftermath

ladies and gentlemen, fellow members of the floor.

suzana@70an is sketch performed by PETRONAS HRM staffs, with the talents comprised mostly from new executives to cool non-executives.

i must say that the show was successfully staged. the talents are to be congratulated. they successfully capture audiences' attention, they improvised the play, they became spontaneous when the situation forced them to do so, they played the characters very well, portrayed the characters as if that is how they act in real life, as well as achieving one of most important goals in any performance: audience can relate and understand what is being played.

yeap, there were some hiccups. the lighting is out, microphones not working, technical errors and stuffs. even the talents morale slowly diminished right before the play. nevertheless, these problems forced us to think out of the box. we had to think really hard on how to overcome the problems.

microphones out? no problem. use the inner voice. sound projection.
lighting's out? no problem. just use normal "lampu kalimantang" lor. :)

Firdaus (played by Nazya) was a bit "keras". for those who knew nazya back in UTP, you would be shaking your head in disbelief. he basically never do any stage performance. but anyway, he is a STAR in another field. basketball.

Suzana (played by Iyra). i can only say that she's perfect for the role. she's talented, and the fact that she's beautiful added extra mark for her. (hehehe). so readers, whenever you see this lovely lady performing, you better give 100% focus.

Apek (played by Joe), was hilarious. i mean, he easily fits in with the character. well, his chinese blood sure helps in bringing the character to life. he kinda saved the play, when spontaneously he interacted with the audiences while waiting for other talents to prepare for the next scene.

those were the main stars of the show. as for me, the other talents and i were surely worked our a55es off in ensuring that the transitions were smoothly done.

anyway, just received an email of appreciation from our VP. and i am glad to know that she enjoyed the play, and even suggested that we should do this more often! and not forgetting, she hoped that whatever that was given to ensure the success of the play, will spill over in daily working lives.

and now, i am very-very-very-ly impressed with Datuk.

and now, let the credits roll:-

maziana = bonda
arman = ayahanda
ro = mommy
ain = debbie
fini= amoy
shalina = combi
afrizan = ace
anas = jack
azamil = jeffry
jo = apek
nazya = firdaus
iyra = suzana

shikin = placard girl
najwa = stage manager
is = sound technician
elle = dance choreographer + co-director

and with that, i rest my case.

from the desk of,
Play Director


-s.i.g.n.i.n.g.o.f.f-

Apple iPhone

i really-really-really want this "peranti"!!
hurmm... USD 500 x rm4 = RM 2000.

boleh kot. tapi next month memang makan pasir je la kot.
hurmmmm

cocktail

it has been a week. a week full of emotional cocktail.

the Division held its annual Quality Day last weekend, and i was part of the organising committee. one great important thing i've learnt is: men and women live in different side of the planet. or something like that.

(i see myself as one of the normal men) u see, i am the type of person that couldn't care less about tiny little weenie things. i mean, i just am not fond of looking at things into details. as long as i know its working as planned, then everything is fine. but women, especially those in the committee, they love to dive into the depth of murky water just to measure the depth of details in it. i mean, they want to know things in details. as if, who's gonna come in first, what time will the bus come, will it be on time or not, how much is exactly being spent, and stuffs like that.

me? sikit-sikit ada la jugak. kalau tak buat camtu, gile lepas tangan. but not into too details.

it has been a week. do i feel anything? i'm afraid the answer is yes and no.
no, because i was really occupied with other things that i just couldn't bother to think on other thing.
yes, because in the middle of the hectic schedule, when i was all alone and resting, the feeling came by, and knocked me inside. haunting me like the blessed ghost of christmas past.

am i regretting it? yes.
if given a chance to change things that happened, will i change it? no.

i need to hold onto this, to help me in this journey, all alone by myself.

please excuse me.

edited:
thank u, sunshine for ur concern. tgh emo2 japs :) anyway, i'm good now.

-signing off-

Chaos in the Universe

i've successfully proven one widely-accepted concept agreed by the women of the world.

men are pigs.

now, there will be chaos in this universe. and for that, i'm sorry for those affected directly or indirectly.

this is my fault, and mine alone.

sekian, terima kasih.

Once Upon a Time in China

no, i haven't been in China. My friends have.
no, i'm not writing a story that starts with, "Once upon a time in china, long long time ago..".
and no, i'm not in a denial.

my current WMP playlist consists of one song only: Once Upon a Time in China theme song. hence the title of this entry.

i used to hate it. and love it. even embraced it fully. once, i managed to get rid of it. and like all the sour tomatoes, u just cant get away from it. its like, they're everywhere. in the pasta, spaghetti, nasi briyani, sweet sour Bawal, and also tomato juice. This thing i affectionately have a love-hate relationship is my best friend: Procrastination. i mean, i vaguely remembered the time when i denounced the way of procrastinate, only to fall in love with it again and again. yeah, that's how fickle-minded i am nowadays.

procrastinate helps me a lot these days. i mean, it gave me the motivation and strength to complete the ever-piling assignments, tasks and jobs. its similar to drinking a energy drink like Tongkat Ali Power Root, or something like that. without it, i would be the type of person who finishes his work on time and as per scheduled. hey, isn't that is what i wanted soooo much?


i'll be taking part in a play for the Company's HRM Division Quality Day. i'm like very teruja for this. i love being on stage. i love performing. but i hate the preparation. i missed those days when all we had to do is like ensemble the casting, give them some background on what are their roles and in which scenes they are to perform, and thats it. no proper script. no proper rehearsal. i strictly emphasized on the PROPER thingy.

no proper script = "you're suppose to say this and this when this and this happens. OK?"
no proper rehearsal = "jom practice jom (in a small room, during midnight)"

the best thing is, during formal rehearsal, we usually sucks big time. even the MedTEch was like freaked out and "sound" at us not to perform like what we did during the actual run. but Alhamdulillah. we proved them wrong. we proved that rehearsal is in fact, REHEARSAL. all efforts are to go to the REAL thing. hahahahahaha.

those were the good old days.

have to go now. have to remember the script. tomorrow got rehearsal. and there will be beautiful girls. hehe. i am like sooooo semangat nak datang rehearsal hahaha.

p/s: girls, if ur reading this, just joking tau :)

on the other note, a minute of silence as a sign of respect for Shanker, who passed away two months ago. memory of him will always be with me.

Shanker, orang putih yang gelap kulitnya.

Rest in Peace, friend.



signing off,
a.z.a.m.i.l.i.z.z.a.t