Random entry #3465

Ever since people know that i'm moving out to sabah, without fail they will ask me this,
"why sabah?"
Truth be told, even i'm not too sure about it. But as mentioned in the previous post, i feel as if i'm given a new lifeline to start all over again.
Then, suddenly i think i know the answer. The answer to why i am more than willing to leave beloved ones, friendly colleagues and familiar surroundings.
To some, i told them it's because the company wants me. And it is best for me to respond positively, for you might not get the chance again in near future. To some, it is about taking up new challenges. This new job is something that i have never done before. So i need to learn, unlearn and relearn. To some, it is about taking myself to the next level. To some, it is about starting all over again. For throughout my years in peninsular, i've gone through some shittiest moment (although i'm not complaining, because i know there are others who face with much more challenging situation than me), and i've screwed up a lot than i ever imagined. So, it's high time for me start new.

Deep inside me, i think it's more about learning to stand on my own two feet. To be by myself. To be independent. For all this time, i envy those studying at overseas. Not because of they were there, but more on that they are lucky to be given the opportunity to be their own. The exposure they gained. Unlike me. So, this is also why i'm more than willing to be transferred here.

And i also feel that this would be the test for me, whether those feelings i felt back then is genuine or not. Also, as a measurement stick to know am i that important to the people that i'm leaving behind. Alas, putting my family aside, i realised that not all is what it may seems to be.

And truth is, i'm starting to miss home. Who doesn't? For the first time of my life, home is not a drive away. But i need to be strong. For i need to stay positive all the time. As i thought that i'm struggling adapting to new environment, others are being depressed with their current environment. I can't afford to make them worry about me, so i will have to share this positive-ness with them.

Once i told my new colleagues, that i am still in anti social mode. And she was surprised with that, considering how i behaved during our lunch session. This was when i shared with few of us, that i prefer to live alone for time being. Than he chipped in, "he just need some time alone to recharge". And i nodded my head to agree with his statement. My point is, i'm recharging. But if you need me, feel free to call me. The least i could do is to listen to your grievances.

Ok, habis dah sesi luahan hati.

to be a better man

lately i found myself much more comfortable posting entry at facebook note. maybe because it is much more accessible via my Nokia 5800 Xpressmusic (hehehe..iklan sikit phone aku ini).

so, how's Sabah?

been good for me.

seems like God has give me the chance for me to start all over again. start afresh. chance to leave behind all the not too good things behind, chance for me to bring along with me into this new chapter those that matters to me, and also chance for me to rediscover who i am.

if all is good, i'll be living in a shoestring budget. which means i will have to cut down my entertainment expenses. my take-home salary is half of my salary. and i will incur additional rm1k for the house rental fee, extra rm200 for the phone bill, and what's left would be my survival cost.

and lets keep Ummi and Abuya out of the equation.

lets hope that i'll be getting a house-mate by next month..huhu

till we meet again

this is so gonna be a public post, so it's best for me not to divulge any critical information or data here.

anyway, i'm done packing for now. hopefully everything that i need already in that bags, boxes and bag.

the final scene of this particular chapter, ended with a bang! thanks to my loved ones (the ablyns and our extended members).

and now, i'm signing off, as i'll be needing a good rest.

and for the record, i really appreciate you people who were there physically and spiritually.

i never, i repeat, i never, expected to have that kind of party.

as i mentioned to those who were there,
"i never expected to see my 3 different circle of friends, to be here sharing a long table"
"i've tried my best to separate these 3 entities, but tonight, the walls collapsed right in front of my eyes"

somehow, Syeena managed to pull it off. i've accidentally placed her inside all of my circle of friends.

thank you lads, and till we meet again...

i woke up today around 3.00 am

woke up early in the morning today, around 3.30 am to be exact (then tidur sekejap, pastu bangun balik). which is something i'd never do on my working days.

and i spent today's 12 hours with the Ishak's clan. basically kinda like my extended family too hahahaha

i was having sleep-deprived-syndrom, Lan was having i'm-still-adjusting-to-local-time-so-i-did-not-have-any-sleep-last-night, and Alia was having i'm-jet-lagged.

and i never knew that a sleep-deprived person would act hyperly and as if they are experiencing sugar-high syndrom.

crazy people, they are.

hahahahahaa